On figs and cats and torches and summer coming to a close

Tonight Jack convinced me to drill a small hole through a stick he'd found so that he could insert a match and light it, thus making an Olympic torch. As you may not be surprised to hear, a match burns pretty quickly, so "torch" was an ephemeral status.

"No, Mom, I've got it! We need gasoline!"

"No, Jack, we're not pouring gasoline into a handheld twig. Thank you. Goodnight."

"Moooooooooooom."

"No."

30 minutes later, T and I are presented with this.

Another 60 minutes later, I check on the children to find that both have drawn red marker and black ink pen beards on their faces and are wearing Italia hoodies. Oliver is drooling onto his pillow-whilst gnawing on corn last night, another top tooth dislodged and so he is now minus his front four which is really pretty significant- and Jack is still awake which does not bode well for tomorrow, the final day of camp.

The good thing about camp ending is that I do not have to pack another lunch until next summer.

The bad thing about camp ending is that camp is ending and we have three weeks left until school resumes. LAWD! SO MANY HOURS IN A DAY!

I will seek refuge in the Nut who continues to be adorably imperious and delightfully plump, and I will continue to encourage anyone listening to vote not only Donald Trump off our island but also Ryan Lochte. At least he hasn't resurrected his grill.

Today I admired and photographed figs and also cooked the boys a lovely dinner that required no more than three teeth to eat and then made a rainbow carrot and raisin salad. The evening light glows so becomingly this time of year; if you can avoid the mosquitan bandits out for all your blood, you will be rewarded with beautifully lit, no flash photos. 

As an added bonus tonight, I leave you with this truly HYSTERICAL Ode to Synchronized Swimming. 

I feel peevish, Ryan (and Romney) is an ass-wipe, great cheese

Really, friends?! I fancy myself a wordsmith, but even I have trouble properly and accurately articulating the all-encompassing douche-bagginess of Paul Ryan and Mitt Romney. Jesus H Christ, people. They are lying sacks of wimpy lies. Did y'all see that Ryan "ramrodded his way" into a closed soup kitchen in Ohio last week to snag a photo opp. Problem, in addition to the kitchen's closed status (meaning there was nobody there)? The photo opp shows Ryan washing dishes that had ALREADY BEEN CLEANED. See here for yourself if you doubt the veracity of this literally unbelievable story. How can this guy call himself a Christian? How can he go on and on about what exceptional men he and Romney are when they lie constantly. See here for evidence of the seemingly innumerable lies Romney vomited out at the first debate. How can you feel you've won when all you did was pontificate falsehoods?? Both of these guys SUCK. So does the MD driver who had this bumper sticker on his car: "No Amnesty. Defend Arizona." Really? REALLY? That state is whacked.

Also, why do parsnips leave seriously annoying strings stuck between your teeth? If I wanted to floss with rope, I would. But I don't.

I am in the sort of mood Tom has coined "no-nonsense dawg." Yes I am. People are lying bad drivers who need to get an effing clue about who really needs what in this country and also they need to take drivers ed or have their licenses rescinded.

OK, a great cheese: Grayson by Meadowcreek (a VA dairy). Stinky in the best way, rind is lovely, interior lovelier. Get some!