Disaster averted- what fun to learn something new!

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Friends, I opened some plum jam today with eager anticipation and was pretty immediately chagrined. If I'd had a wick, I could have made a candle, such was the yukky, waxy, stiffness of this "jam." So disappointed, not least because how sad to dump all this good, fresh food, I went back to food52, the foodie website from which I'd procured the recipe, and wrote back to all who'd made this jam with great success and rave reviews. Help, I pleaded! Help! One woman mentioned that different plums have different pectin levels such that plum jam can be quite tricky with regards to getting its consistency right.  She gave me some pro-canner tips- did you know that you can unseal your jars, dump all your jam back in a pot, thin it down, bring it back to a boil and reseal the jars? Brilliant! So, I added some water as she'd suggested, a bit of apple juice, a little more 5 spice, boiled it, canned it and resealed. I'm going to wait a day or two per her suggestion before I open this jar, but if what was left in the pan is any indicator, this is going to be as delicious as originally promised. How exciting! I love learning new tricks like this!

It's pouring brickbats here, Oliver is -wow!- still napping but I'll soon have to wake him to go get Jack. I hope Mr. J had a great day!

Dispatch from K

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Both J and I got slapped with a case of nerves upon arrival at school. I could just see him turning inward a bit; because he's such a gregarious, attention-loving munchkin most of the time, that behavior always surprises me when it rears up, and then my nerves inflame. This morning I was looking at the boys and listening to the concurrent squabble-and-love in which they were engaging, and it almost took my breath away, how capable they are, how big even though they're young. It's funny how time can seem to stand still but fly, almost simultaneously.

I was struck too by the ways in which children AND parents struggle with independence and dependence, the ways we both assert our needs for each. But, as in so many aspects of relationships, those needs aren't always running in tandem. I might feel desperate for space just as one or both of the kids really needs some snuggling, time or connection. They may want to do something "by myself" when I'd love to smother them with kisses. Relationships of all kinds are living, dynamic things, at least the healthy ones, I think. This seems especially true in the parent-child relationship in which the participants aren't equals developmentally. And I think this is why parenting can seem so fraught: you want to maintain a sense of self; you want to give your children the love, support and space to discover their true selves; and you want to do this while also civilizing them and teaching them the ways of the world so they can function most happily and effectively within it. Tough!