Photo evidence of my hubs, farm trip, annoying leering from next door

Do y'all know what I despise and incenses me? Workers who leer at women. Take an effing picture you nasty dudes, or at least learn to look with respect rather than some gross, slimy desire. My neighbor is having a bunch of landscaping work done, and I feel like I'm housebound and/or racing to/from my car when I leave because of the nasty looks. Thus is true whether I'm wearing sweatpants or workout clothes. Get a magazine. Gross! Oliver and I spent the morning at a local farm and pumpkin patch for his first school field trip. One of his two best buddies (and his mom) rode with us, and the boys held hands and laughed constantly. Adorable!! I needed this shot in the arm because Oliver was a complete whiny arse for the two hours before we left. I actively disliked him so was happy to have such a lovely and completely opposite experience afterwards. He picked four pumpkins, loved the hay ride and farm animals, and it happens to be an incredibly beautiful day here which is an extra bonus.

Look, evidence that my dear husband does exist!! A great pic from Elia's wedding last weekend...

I feel peevish, Ryan (and Romney) is an ass-wipe, great cheese

Really, friends?! I fancy myself a wordsmith, but even I have trouble properly and accurately articulating the all-encompassing douche-bagginess of Paul Ryan and Mitt Romney. Jesus H Christ, people. They are lying sacks of wimpy lies. Did y'all see that Ryan "ramrodded his way" into a closed soup kitchen in Ohio last week to snag a photo opp. Problem, in addition to the kitchen's closed status (meaning there was nobody there)? The photo opp shows Ryan washing dishes that had ALREADY BEEN CLEANED. See here for yourself if you doubt the veracity of this literally unbelievable story. How can this guy call himself a Christian? How can he go on and on about what exceptional men he and Romney are when they lie constantly. See here for evidence of the seemingly innumerable lies Romney vomited out at the first debate. How can you feel you've won when all you did was pontificate falsehoods?? Both of these guys SUCK. So does the MD driver who had this bumper sticker on his car: "No Amnesty. Defend Arizona." Really? REALLY? That state is whacked.

Also, why do parsnips leave seriously annoying strings stuck between your teeth? If I wanted to floss with rope, I would. But I don't.

I am in the sort of mood Tom has coined "no-nonsense dawg." Yes I am. People are lying bad drivers who need to get an effing clue about who really needs what in this country and also they need to take drivers ed or have their licenses rescinded.

OK, a great cheese: Grayson by Meadowcreek (a VA dairy). Stinky in the best way, rind is lovely, interior lovelier. Get some!

So, the almost-disaster: flames of love?

As the reception wound down on Saturday night, the newlyweds unveiled a final surprise: large paper lanterns that upon lighting the base would fill with hot air and then float away. Beautiful concept, especially as we were to light and them release them over the bayou. Eight of us lined up, readied our white lanterns (the bride and groom's was a large red heart), watched them puff up and then let them go. There's a burn ban in effect in southwestern LA right now, no one had thought to check the wind direction, and we were lighting these to the immediate right of a group of pine trees . The first lantern cleared the pines, the second just barely, and the third, fourth and the red heart flew straight into the tree. My co-Maid of Honor and I, both very type-A, exclaimed, "what a bad idea" and "y'all, that tree is now of fire." Some guests poo-poohed our suggestions to do SOMETHING, but others hauled ass to find ladders and water. It was funny in a ridiculous way. One reveler started throwing objects at the red lantern in the hopes of dislodging it from the branch in which it had nestled and caught. The hose wouldn't reach, the ladder wasn't high enough. The remaining lanterns were not saved but rather lit and released. One caught in a tree. My co-MOH and I continued to express some disbelief about the sitch, and T was hilariously aghast.

Fortunately, the flames receded, and all was well, but really, wouldn't a fire have been an unfortunate cap to the evening?! Here's the red heart the morning after.