On internet friends and cardinals and Nanny

For one thing, hilarious text exchanges with good friends are really hard to beat. That's all on that subject, but if you haven't flown back and forth with a pal, emojis and honesty flying left and right, you really should try it prontissimo. 

As y'all might know by now, I have taken a number of writing classes and through them have made a number of friends. These many women and two men (hear, hear Freddie and Adam) have enriched my life in so many ways. Anyone who doubts the veracity of relationships forged online should pause and reconsider. While some are wholly fake, disappointing, or otherwise no good and totally ephemeral, others are the brightest of surprises, the happiest of new weights securing us to life and world.

Perhaps because writing is an artistic craft, a number of the folks I've met are not only tremendous wordsmiths but also talented photographers. I feel lucky every day to have in my home prints by Sophia and Eliza who graciously sent me high res jpegs of their work. Imagine the near impossibility of knowing these women, from Australia and Africa, before the internet. Imagine the chance even with that of meeting, of becoming friendly, of supporting each other's work, of sharing talent and beauty with someone you might never meet in person.

One writer-photographer, Terri, who captures spectacular scenes from nature once mentioned a lovely thing she'd heard about cardinals: that they're messengers from loved ones who've died, come to visit, offer some peace and love, or serve as a reminder of someone we miss.

Nanny always loved watching the birds at her window feeders. When Nanny became largely chair bound, Mom hung a feeder directly in her line of sight. As do most of us, she'd curse the squirrels and their Houdini methods of gluttony. But mostly she'd enjoy the simple act of watching birds come to feed. She liked cardinals' flashy red coat. I wonder if the scarlet hue reminded her of the lipstick and nail polish she always wore as a younger woman.

I imagine the way she watched the birds is the same way she used to watch her children and grandchildren eat the food she made them- simple, delicious food that never seemed to run out.

A few years ago, a copper birdfeeder caught my eye, and on a whim, I bought it. It boasts no fancy design or aesthetic. It just seemed sturdy, and I like copper. I hung it from the sugar maple in our old back yard, from a branch I could see from pretty much every window on the back of our house. And I came to relish every single visitor, though I did, on occasion, curse the squirrels.

We now have two birdfeeders and and an even greater variety of winged visitors to them. We also have more capable squirrels. They are eating me out of house and home, and recently, Jack and I greased the pole on which one of our feeders hangs. We waited for hours to watch a squirrel be foiled by our plot, but to no avail; the grease didn't slow those buggers at all.

In any case, I see cardinals every week, and I am certain that each is Nanny. Or at least that each is a reminder to think of Nanny and some bit of wisdom or cooking tip or grace that she shared with me before she died. 

Two-year-olds and eating well and going to bed

Y'all!

I have SO forgotten what it's like to live with a two-year-old. As such, this is what I feel like right now.

Snore!

Snore!

Two-year-olds are adorable but they are very messy and often loud, despite having relatively few words. They like to drag food around the house with them, discarding like tiny Hansels bits and pieces as they go. Unlike Hansel, no toddler intends to return along his meandering path, not least with a dustbuster. 

I adore my precious nephew, but I have forgotten about tee-tee fountains and the utter delight of made up names for things. I am now hazy on obsessions with things like helicopters and the associated sound effects that go along with frequent reminders of them. Dunh-dunh-dunh-dunh say the chopper blades. 

Memories of the very emphatic ways that two-year-olds can express "No!" burbled up from the recesses of my mind in recent days. I was reminded of the genius of Mo Willems describing a melting down toddler as "going boneless" in Knuffle Bunny. If ever I describe anything so perfectly, I'll feel accomplished to the max.

I have somewhat forgotten about watching young tots learn stuff. How they practice and practice and then one day say "turtle" in the most endearing "tuh-tle" way. And there is nothing like the gut laugh of a little one. I love, love, and will do anything for the moments my boys still guffaw like toddlers do.

Mom left yesterday, and before taking Elia and Leone to the airport this afternoon, we had a little birthday party (Leone likes Baked & Wired cupcakes as much as we do) as he is officially 2 in a few weeks. It seems like a long jump from here:

to here:

Beautiful mama and darling nephew!

Beautiful mama and darling nephew!

Last night, I cooked dinner, and Tom and I raised a glass to Elia. She is doing such a good job in motherhood, and I am so proud of her. We ate well, watched the debate (if by debate one means a large, rude child following a thoughtful candidate around stage and lying), and then tucked in. 

Don't those sunchokes look good?? Yum!!! Pan-roasted and then dressed with rosemary brown butter and aged Balsamic (thank you, Bon Appetit). We also had salmon and brussels sprouts and, duh, this.

Donald Trump

Truly, I didn't think I could be more appalled, more disgusted, angrier, sicker to my stomach than I have been. I didn't think I could loathe and disdain and eschew in every single way a person like I do Donald Trump.

And then today, yet another veil on Trump's vile character was lifted, pulled away to reveal a level of character so seedy and ugly that I am, despite all the evidence suggesting I shouldn't be, shocked. 

You probably all saw or heard the 2005 hot-mic recording of Trump going on about how many women he has hit on, aggressively approached, kissed, grabbed. Some were married, Melania said "it was OK." 

In Trump's words: 

“I’m automatically attracted to beautiful — I just start kissing them. It’s like a magnet. Just kiss. I don’t even wait,” Trump said. “When you’re a star, they let you do it. You can do anything. Grab ’em by the p**sy. You can do anything.”

The commentary goes on and on. It is repulsive.

Not surprisingly, he has deflected blame back to the Clintons. "Bill has said much worse to me...Hillary enabled his cheating and attacked his women....This is just potty talk..."

More unbelievable are the women who continue to support Trump by saying, "at least he's not a criminal." "It's just locker room stuff."

Really? If a man spoke to your daughter or granddaughter or you like that, you'd be OK with it? Sexual harassment isn't breaking the law

Gross are the men laughing and cheering and grabbing their crotches and saying, as the stranger who wrote on my Facebook wall this evening, "Welcome to every guy conversation when girls aren't around! Woman say way worse with their girl friends. If U say different you are full of shit!"

That person? He is no one I ever want to know. No one I ever want my children to know. No one I ever want to associate with in any way. Those women who still don their Trumpette shirts and cheer for the man who grabs p**sy because he can? They make me sick. They are turning their backs on generations of work and death and progress that women before them soldiered through and suffered.

Trump has no major newspaper endorsements. Perhaps more astounding, a number of conservative papers have endorsed Secretary Clinton and/or urged voters to NOT vote for Trump. The Dallas Morning News, The Arizona Republic, the San Diego Union-Tribune, the Houston Chronicle, USA Today have all come out in support of Clinton. The DMN has supported every Republican nominee since 1940. The AR, founded in 1890, has NEVER endorsed a Democratic candidate. Until now: Clinton. The SDU-T has not supported a Democratic candidate since it's founding 148 years ago. Until now: Clinton.

Papers like these "have taken a stand even at the expense of losing subscribers at a time when newspapers are barely staying afloat. Some have received death threats." Regardless, they are standing up for what is right, for what is best for this country, for the greater good instead of any individual beliefs and desires otherwise. 

They stand alongside the nearly 100 evangelical leaders who recently beseeched "their fellow Christians to vote against Republican presidential nominee Donald Trump, who, they write, 'has fueled white American nationalism with xenophobic appeals and religious intolerance at the expense of gospel values, democratic principles, and important international relationships.  Sometimes historic moments arise when more is at stake than partisan politics ― when the meaning and integrity of our faith hangs in the balance. This is one of those moments.”

They stand alongside the group of 30 former Republican members of Congress who two days ago publicly came out against Donald Trump. "It's the largest group of former Republican elected officials to officially announce their opposition to the current leader of their party."

We should all be this full of integrity and honor. I am doing my part. This is not a country of which I'm proud or that makes me hopeful. I want better for my children (who I had to ask to leave the room tonight while we watched the news story about Trump's recording) and, frankly, for myself, peers, parents, and everyone who has worked so tirelessly for greater tolerance and a greater nation.

In the meantime, the fabric of our nation is unravelling. I feel a hopelessness about future unity that I've never felt before. How, when perfect strangers will say I'm "full of shit" for speaking out against such grotesque treatment of women and stand up for a man who brags about sexual assault, will those who agree and disagree come together? Truly, I don't know.

Something in our political system has to change. Campaign finance, timing, the electoral college, voter repression, gerrymandering...without real and substantive changes towards fairer everything, I fear this democratic experiment we call America won't last long in any healthy state of being.