Eating long, eating short, eating well: pantry stocks and leftovers

I've been busy this week, running hurriedly from here to there. By and large it's all been good and fun stuff, including a literal run to commence training for the Navy half marathon in September.

During frenzied times, it's all too easy to eat mindlessly, crappily or not at all. But that thought is positively repellent to me, as I hate wasting a meal. I mean, we only get three a day*. It's also unhealthy, for the food we eat is the fuel we give our bodies. Eating well is the equivalent of loving ourselves enough to nourish and tend to our physical forms.

I often carve time in each day to prepare meals, for myself and my family. But that's not always feasible which is why it's important to remember that you can eat well and healthfully on the quick.

Each of the past two nights, I've made dinner in under ten minutes. On Thursday, I steamed some couscous (five minutes) while sauteing some shrimp to serve on top. I had all the dry ingredients -couscous and spices- in my pantry, broth in the fridge, parsley on the windowsill and used a pound of already peeled and deveined shrimp I bought earlier that day. Simple, fast, filling and good.

Last night, I took advantage of the need to clean out my fridge by making a platter of salads. Leftovers can often be repurposed in lovely ways: extra mozzarella turns into a caprese salad; previously roasted potatoes make a nice cold dish when topped with crème fraîche and lemon; beets I'd earlier thought to roast make a sturdy foil for watercress, oranges from breakfast and some peppered chevre from the cheese drawer. The lemony green beans were from the kids' dinner, and those lingering carrots from mine on Wednesday night. I pulled some pre-sliced whole grain bread from the freezer, toasted it and voila. Dinner is served.

Naturally, this approach to dinner works best if your pantry and fridge are well-stocked with good basics, if you keep your leftovers in easy-to-see containers and if you're good about regularly purchasing favorite ingredients to keep on hand. I am never without good olive oil, whole grain bread, a variety of vegetables and an assortment of cheese.

But a little thinking ahead goes a long way, and it's so worth it. Buon appetito!

*Please note that I am extraordinarily concerned with poverty and hunger in our world and recognize the luxury my family has to eat three square meals a day.

An aging lady on the couch with bonbons

Over the course of the past year, my dear mother has taken to repeating, "I can't believe I have a daughter who's almost forty." 

Thanks for the reminder, Mom!

As it turns out, I will only be 39 next week, so really, the 40s death knell seems early, yes? 

I myself don't mind getting older. By and large, age is but a number. That said, a few things clearly suck about approaching mid-life. A second wave of acne is definitely on my list (seriously, what the eff did any woman ever do to deserve zits again?) as is the fact that if I sit cross-legged on the floor for more than 8 minutes, my knees regret it for hours. But the most annoying might very well be the way aging bodies metabolize alcohol. In short, they suck at it.

Wine and the occasional cocktail are integral, happy, celebratory, relaxing aspects of my life. A superbly cooked filet is made even more sublime when enjoyed with a great Cabernet. A fresh crottin of goat cheese sings alongside a crisp Sancerre. A flute of champagne can make even the dullest of events feel festive. And when was the last time you sat outside on a beautiful summer night, enjoying a chilled Rosé, and felt anything but content?

Right.

So it's a cruel twist that as the years go on and you have a bit more time and your kids need a bit less and perhaps you're a bit more established, those sublime nectars start to mess with you. Your sleep is impaired, your stomach may feel like it's been grated, your cognitive abilities suffer, your head feels like it's packed with cotton. Unless you're in Italy and then you can even day-drink again!

I had two glasses of wine last night with my dinner. Two. Tom had a work function, and I cooked myself a lovely, lovely meal, got out my crossword puzzle, poured a vat of water to offset the damn dehydration elements in the wine, and spent a few delightful hours. 

And I woke up this morning and felt like I was on Mars. Hmph. It's very nearly unacceptable. As it's cold and rainy here, I decided that after dropping the boys off at school, I'd come home and take a nap. Just curl up on the couch with Percy and call it a morning. 

Percy, the slug pug. Does he look relaxed, or what?!

This sort of luxury is not something I usually afford myself, but what else could Mars head do? Percy was thrilled, and really, so was I. I awoke at 10:15 to the sound of the mailman delivering some letters and a few packages. Packages are always fun, so I ambled to the door by way of my Soda Stream (because: more water) and found an early birthday present from one of my dearest college friends.

An entire box of See's Nuts & Chews!! These are my faves. I do not, generally speaking, like boxed chocolates. There's too much going on, and that weird puffed, grainy filling that too many of them boast is the pits. Also, the chocolate tends to taste eerily like paraffin wax. No thank you.

But See's Nuts & Chews? Ohmygod. Chocolate, nuts and the minimal amount of caramel or marshmallow needed to hold it all together. I love and do not share these. Thank you, Ames.

In that moment, Mars head decided to stay on the couch with the bonbons and be that woman. I don't know that I've ever actually sat on the couch in the late morning eating candies. (Where did that ridiculous stereotype of stay-at-home mothers come from anyway?) It was delightful, and my friend's timing couldn't have been better.

You can see in the make-up free, un-Photoshopped pic that I do not wake up looking like Miranda Kerr does (if her Instagram feed is showing us regular people the truth). Then again, she is a supermodel, and I am not.

But that right there is an almost-39-year-old who took a nap and ate candy and feels damn happy about having done so.

Maybe the best part of getting older is feeling OK about doing just that. Even if it means suffering minimal-wine after-effects to get there. 

Wiping away the sleep

The end of winter wore hard on me. In the chilly gloom of March, I felt myself withering, drying up, losing elasticity. Like my garden, I need light and warmth to thrive. 

This is just the way I'm built. Some may consider my intolerance of long winters a weakness, as I once did, but as I age, I'm trying to cast off unnecessary self-judgment. It seems reasonable to believe that becoming deeply glum after four months in darkness and cold is not the worst personal flaw. 

See, I'm a bustling, bubbly, merry extrovert but also a sensitive, stormy introvert. I have long walked that line.

I've worked hard to push my innate pessimism to the curb, harder still to quiet the anxieties that cause me to over-think, over-worry, overdo. The oppressive shroud of too-much-winter amplifies the noise from my tumultuous interior and makes tranquility elusive.

I recharge in solitude, in the quiet company of cooking and gardening, ideas and myself. I didn't realize just how true that was until I had children, nor did I understand the ways in which introversion can make being a parent that much more challenging. Especially if your children are not silent wallflowers. Especially when winter persists and solitude and time in the yard are harder to come by.

When darkness falls, outside and in, maintaining stasis in the delightful circus that is parenting my two spirited boys can feel Sisyphean. At times I lose perspective, fail to see their bright inner lights, struggle. The fear of being unable to meet multiple demands correctly and in a timely fashion teases up the anxiety lurking within; the two build on each other into a pulsing swarm.

It is unpleasant, tiring and disappointing, but fortunately, with time and spring, a wave of renewal comes and brings a soft cloth with which I wipe my cloudy eyes.

I spent most of yesterday and much of this morning clearing the detritus from my yard. It's dirty, sweaty work, and I never wish to be anywhere else. Out there, I thought again about what a powerful concept rebirth is. Of how parents sometimes need a reset to see both children and selves clearly. Of how the warm light of spring provides just that.