Fury over a bad movie! I did the sprouts!

People, I canNOT get over how much I detested the movie Gravity. Like, I am furious about having just wasted two hours on it. Sandra Bullock was an elf with horrid dialogue and hair. Why did she change so many times between multiple space suits and the spandex undies? If I had to watch her in the effing "womb" or her emergence from the "primordial soup" one more time, I've have had to leave my couch. AS IF you can hopscotch across space with nothing more than a fire extinguisher popping you to oddly contiguous and proximate space stations. And then her fiery survival pod just happens to release into a hellball shooting her towards Earth safely, reentry angle be damned. Naturally, she makes it and lands in Fijian perfection the idiocy of which is not least that the water was no more than 15 feet deep. Luckily, her drowning pod forms a water bell and all is well in the world. She perseveres, she swims, she crawls, she emerges. Does anyone think that THREE TIMES in the breathing-CO2-as-air situation doesn't have some after-effects? It is one thing to be creative but it is yet another to have absolutely ZERO probability of realism or possibility when you are sort of purporting just that. Why were all the space stations in such shitty disrepair? How flipping strong was the original Russian, natch, disaster that caused all this armageddon debris to repeatedly race around Earth like Usain Bolt in the 100 screwing everything in its path?

If Sandra gets best actress and/or Alfonso best director, I might just write off the Academy forever. Titanic was offense enough, but this movie was even worse in the dialogue department and so unbelievably offensive in the "please just suspend belief and enjoy" category that I could die. Tom says: "Castaway in space." I say, "As if; don't waste your time." Like we just did.

And PS, George Clooney, you are always a sight for the eyes but I find it hard to believe that while Sharif and Ryan toil, you just jet-pack around the spacecraft for shits and giggles.

We watched Dallas Buyers Club last night. That was MUCH better. ~~~~ On a much better note, I successfully replicated the incredible Brussels sprouts from Blue Duck Tavern. It's all about the hot oil bath!

Food from the past 3

Percy just loathes his coat. I mean really, have you seen him so forlorn since we put his dog diaper on? Yet, he hates to be wet so this will help in the rain AND he shivers when it's cold, so I simply felt this purchase was the way to do right by him. He hated every second of it. Tried to shake it off, rub it off, climb out and then there were the nine separate butt-drags across the pavement. Hmm. Since the coat doesn't cover his bum, I'm really not sure what those moves were about, but I've stopped asking when it comes to Percy.

When we got home, I watched as Nutmeg went chair to chair throughout my dining room and systematically knocked everything off of each one. It was so ridiculous as to be laughable not least because I'd just cleaned. It's another question as to why I have so much crap on my chairs.

I'm still grumpy, received a rejection of a piece I'd submitted, now have a headache and so have ensconced myself in making a magnificent short rib ragu. Three hours it's braised and now it's out and resting, just waiting for my capable hands to debone and skim fat. This plus wine will be a hell of a dinner.

My last three days o' eating at home in review:

That is so delightfully alliterative.

Kiss my polite, southern tush, you meanies

I cannot fathom what is going on this morning so I'll blame it on the cold (but it's sunny! at least there's that!): too many people are in very mean moods. After dropping the boys at school, I ran by the market. At the customer service desk, I placed my milk bottle on the counter and while waiting quietly and smilingly for my deposit refund noticed a large, slightly manic/angry-looking woman rounding the corner and walking towards me. We were at least three feet apart when she sighed dramatically, gripped onto one thigh in apparent pain and proceeded to yell that she'd been "vulgarized throughout this store this morning. First there were two over there and now HER." (looking and basically spitting at me) "I have searing pain in this leg and this one" because of some such nonsense which had to do with something I'd done to her. WHILE STANDING STILL IN ONE PLACE. The customer service woman gave me a look like "don't worry; that lady is batshit," so I decided to do my best to ignore the evil eye I was still receiving and head off to fetch some bananas.

Just now, I walked Percy to the bank where we found the ATM unable to dispense cash. Helpful. So, we go inside and patiently wait in line. The first rep to help me ultimately couldn't because I didn't have my license so I got back in line -with a smile!- to wait for the gal who could. The man behind me went ahead and proceeded to ream out the rep because of the broken ATM. I believe simply informing her of its malfunction, as did I, would have been enough.

The second rep called me over and we made lovely small talk while she got my cash. She offered me a new credit card and because I have no intention of opting in instead asked for some information to "bring home and discuss with my husband." Naturally no such information existed and so she asked me to wait while she photocopied a page from her manual. Ok. Whatever, she's lovely, I'm not in a rush. While she's at the machine, a manager comes over and makes more small talk, this time about pets. "I have a cat, oh you do too? What's his name? I LOVE that." The first gal hands me my photocopy and then another person in line starts yelling about me listening to the rep "who's trying to just sell you something. I have a check to cash!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

People, it's enough to make me want to swear off society for the rest of today. How can one possibly be "vulgarized" in a grocery store? And, what if I'd really wanted that damn credit card? It is my right to get the effing information about it. Shit, people, kiss it. And stop yelling at me because you're in a bad mood.

Don't even get me started on the insane meanie at the public library the other day. Mean to me and the kids. At a public library. When they were being perfectly behaved.

It's a good thing I saved my leftover grits for today.