Monday, Monday, so gray today; hope; couplehood during parenthood

What a blah day. This is the recurring challenge of February and March: some days are glorious; the sun shines, you feel warm, the end of winter seems near, and then kabam, even though you knew not to get your hopes up, you knew those days were the exceptions rather than the rule, you wake up to a cold, gray shroud and a bit of snow sprinkling the gardens you knew you shouldn't sow but did. Each year, after I plant, exchange my winter and spring clothes, or get excited too early, I'm struck by the persistence and power of human hope. I mean, it's great, and wouldn't change it, but you might think I'd learn. Ah well, soon enough I guess. I am still not feeling quite well- guess this bug I got is as persistent as my hope- so am thankful the boys are at school right now. It feels so luxurious to take a shower at my own pace, to be able to think quietly, and accomplish tasks with my full attention devoted to them. That wellspring of hope encourages me to clean each day, putting away toys and clothes and books and piles of who knows what from the most recent endeavor J & O have undertaken- yesterday they "opened" The Sharpest Edge, a saw shop of some sort with two deliverables: they'll meet your sawing/trimming needs AND bust all myths related to saws (Jack and Tom are avid MythBusters watchers so that's where this offshoot comes from). Their business sign on our front door is a hoot. I'm not sure how many saw-related myths are out there waiting to be busted, but I have to admire their spirits and imaginations. I am sure that most of my cleaning will be for naught by 3p today but I'll enjoy relative organization in the meantime.

The recipes transfer is about 75% done. I hope y'all like and find it a bit more user-friendly. Feedback is always welcome! ~~~~

Lastly, I wanted to share with you an excerpt from a monthly newsletter I receive from Symbio, a terrific resource for families with young children. The founders, Noelle and Lele, are specialists in child development, sleep habits, and family psychology. I called on them for advice many times when O was little because the sleep-deprivation from which I suffered due to his waking at 4:30am every day ready to play and play some more was absolutely awful and unsustainable. They're based in San Francisco so I feel lucky that they offer this newsletter which is always comforting and full of good advice. This excerpt  is specific to the challenges to couplehood during the early years of parenthood; it certainly resonated with me and I thought it might do the same for many of you.

"We hear similar laments from many of our clients. Many others barely have time or energy in the midst the daily fray for wistful moments over the impact parenthood has had on their relationship with their partner. For most of the parents we work with, having children was a choice, not a foregone conclusion. They approached parenthood intentionally. Many had time in their pre-child lives to develop plans, hopes and goals for how they would fashion their family and nurture their children.

During the early years of this great endeavor, parents struggle to maintain and apply their vision of parenthood through sleepless nights, first steps, temper tantrums, and preschool applications. Keeping pace with the rapid changes of the first five years requires an extraordinary level of attention and energy; it's virtually impossible for parents to avoid taking some of that out of their own relationship.

In the best of situations, couples maintain intimacy by sharing the revelatory experience of becoming parents. They develop a new bond as they are, together, changed by supporting a new life. In the course of the day-to-day, they rely on some sort of implicit or explicit agreement that they will find each other in date nights, stolen moments and shared glances as they more or less divide and (on good days) conquer.

But this process is not always seamless. Even the most solid of partnerships is tested by the magnitude of change involved in the early years of family life. Commonly, couples find themselves making sacrifices and compromises they would not have anticipated. It's easy for new parents to feel as though they have lost touch with themselves, not to mention their partners. And even when a relationship is sound and healthy, it may not always feel so to one or both partners struggling with sleep deprivation and overwhelm." To read the rest, visit their website.

Grapes + olives + goat cheese

Ooh, la la. What a delightful, new-to-me discovery! Inspired by my adoration of the muscat grapes and crostini night, I decided to quickly cook in a hot skillet, a handful of said grapes, some pitted kalamatas, a bit of EVOO, and a splash of this new agrodolce vinegar I recently bought. I then stirred that all together with some goat cheese and spread it on warm toast. Fabulous! We watched the first episode of Portlandia last night and loved it. Watched the next two tonight, and I hated both. Insufferable. T says it's because the comedy style is too similar to Curb Your Enthusiasm, which also drives me over the edge. Maybe that is it, but I had to leave the room halfway through episode 3.  Aaaaah! Good night!

Sicilian blood orange marmalade in the works, seeds planted, it's crostini night!

As blood oranges head out of season, I decided to make a final batch of marmalade but am using a different recipe this time around. Entitled Sicilian Blood Orange Marmalade, it instructs you to prick the oranges all over and soak them in a tub of water for four days, changing the water each day. This is to remove much of the bitterness innate in orange rind. True Sicilian blood oranges are the Tarocco variety, a relative of the Sanguinello from Spain. I've not seen either of these here; what I've been purchasing is the Moro variety, related to the others but with more bitterness and a deeply colored, variegated flesh. Presently, three pounds are soaking away and later this week, I'll get busy with them. I also got some zucchini, bean and radish seeds planted today in the little cowpots I ordered and which arrived yesterday. Not the greenest thumb around, I nonetheless remain hopeful that one day the spirits will conspire to give me enough sun, remind me to water regularly and keep random pests at bay.

In the meantime, I decided that tonight will be Crostini Night!! Yum! I'd set some cannellini beans to soak last night so just cooked them up with some garlic and finally harvested that enormous radicchio which I'll stew into them. Concurrently I caramelized some red and yellow onions, will be making a chopped tomato relish, and we ran out and got some mozzarella, baguette, olives and other goodies.