Extremely strange dream, waking up to two boys sawing god knows what

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OMG, what a weird night. I was up from 3-4a so stopped up I was mouth-breathing like crazy and dry as a bone. I finally got back to sleep (amen for Afrin, no matter how awful the stuff is for you) and had the MOST bizarre dream.

I was in Philly attending a formal ball but I had to keep running back and forth across a major thoroughfare to welcome people at a skeevy house where two hot plate-griddle things were on full blast every time I unlocked the door, even though of course I turned them off each time I was there. I didn’t know any of the people I was greeting and please remember, I’m fully decked out in high heels and an evening gown. Each time I left to return to the ball, the weather had changed; rain, snow, whatever. On my last trip back to the ball, I see a seal floundering in the crosswalk. I said, oh god, I’ll call the zoo and apparently I had them on speed-dial. Meanwhile, the seal heads under a bus -fortunately it was parked- and one jerk screams that she’s done for so we should just let her go.

I’ve changed my dress at this point and there is a lunatic tow-truck driver taking people’s cars from the parking garage. Then I woke up. Anyone know a dream analyst who can explicate that one? I can figure the tow-truck detail but am otherwise fully lost.

Why did I wake up? Because my children sound like a herd of elephants (did I mention I slept in the basement, so, they are right above me) and from what I can discern are going great guns with saws and hammers on what I think are the roller coaster ramps. I have recently found three small holes/nicks in our walls, evidential dust/spackle on the ground, so need to figure out a way to put a stop to wall repair.

God, do I need coffee. And Jack has his first violin lesson this morning. Whoa-nelly. Off to the races.

Surprisingly emotional reaction, looking back over the years

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Did anyone look at the photos or videos of the Royal Wedding? My mom said Kate looked beautiful, so I checked out CNN. Indeed, she was a stunning bride and had such a happy glow about her. What a classy, elegant dress!

I found myself with a bit of a lump in my throat and have spent some time trying to figure that out. I am a subscriber to US Weekly so you might think I was just celeb gawking, but magazines like US are just escapist, silly forms of amusement. Watching Kate step out of the car and walk towards the ceremony- it was different; she just radiated youth and happiness and promise. I remember feeling all those things in spades nearly seven years ago, and while I do feel, proudly so, that my marriage is better than ever, now, I can’t help but feel a bit churned up. Why?

It’s rather the same feeling I’ve had before, thinking back over the freedom and whimsy of old relationships, youth in general. I’ve never been a big Facebook person, but I recently discovered the ‘find friends’ tab- I thought you had to search it, but no! There before you are tons of pictures of people from your past and current lives. Tom was out of town, and I must have spent an hour scrolling through all the faces, some once such good friends or close acquaintances, sorority sisters, college dorm-mates, colleagues, friends of my parents(!), and so forth.

I saw my two college loves, friends whom I miss, former friends I don’t, and I felt the same way I did looking at these wedding pictures. Emotional, that lump in my throat, scrolling back through the pages of me that are, in some ways, hardly recognizable anymore.

I remember that my last college exam was from 5:30-7:30p on June 9. As I left the final and headed towards my boyfriend’s dorm, I realized that at that very moment, 25 years before, my parents had just said “I Do.” It was such an odd, jarring, juxtaposition.

As I think they were for many people, my twenties were a hard, hard decade. You’re thrust out of the cocoon that is college into a world you navigate on your own: supporting yourself, commencing grad school and/or careers, relationships, new cities, the growth that comes from failure, disappointments and mistakes. On top of all that, you, in some form or fashion, have to process this all.

Those are critically important years, and I am a very different person, gratefully so, than I was when I left college. But that maturation comes with much loss, and even though you might love where you end up (as I do), it is nonetheless bittersweet.

It is fortunate that I bought 5 quarts of strawberries earlier as I’m going to have to pour my emotions into a major canning episode. Oh, and some wine. ;)