Letting your childcare go (in other words, firing them)...

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Why is this so difficult and vexing? I mean, for the love of god, I’m talking about my kids here. A few days back, I sent a regular babysitter a pretty tough email about how she mostly seemed annoyed and dismissive around the boys lately and that I just didn’t think this dynamic was acceptable. She waited 2.5 days to write back. Are you serious??? Yet, I didn’t outright fire her, I just massively demoted her re: hours, like a slow-burn letting go I guess. I felt a palpable sense of relief upon realizing that she probably wouldn’t be working with us anymore and really, shouldn’t that tell me just to cut the cord now?!

But I think we have all been in this situation before or even are right now. It’s hard to find people who can simultaneously love and manage your kids AND get them to bed on time. How many interviews have we all been through? How many moments spent pondering the likelihood that any given person is/is not who she says she is? Am I the only one who has memorized license plates? Staked out the house to make sure she wasn’t stealing away with my treasured babies? How much time have we spent familiarizing newbies with our schedules, disciplinary tactics and perspectives on child-rearing overall? Do we want them to be fun? creative? patient? stimulating? All while being all of these things all the time is pretty much impossible for most people.

How much of what we look for in childcare is providing our children extensions of ourselves versus new experiences, i.e. people totally different from who we are? I think this is why after finally deciding on someone with whom you are entrusting your children (and in my situation, I’m only talking 9-10 hours a week; I imagine this could be much more complex for those seeking more time), letting her go is fraught with anxiety. Are my children attached to her in a way I’m not? Does continuity trump enthusiasm? What will I do without this time away?

At the end of the day, I think I need to know that my kids are with someone who truly enjoys their company, who doesn’t just tolerate them. And so, I believe I must bid this young lass adieu because while capable, I am holding out for a bit more verve!

Making kofta burgers before 9am

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Ok, while I’m pretty game for cooking anything, anytime, I leave the production of our family’s supply of Tom’s famous, homemade kofta burgers to him. Especially when said burgers must be made before 9am, the situation today. Who can handle the smell of raw beef so early in the morning?! Not I, my friends. So, I brought Jack to school and came home to a house fragrant with toasted cumin, coriander and freshly ground allspice. I, myself, am not a huge burger fan, but my three boys can each eat their body weight in these delicacies.

Should you wish to Lebanese-ify your burgers, here is our recipe, tweaked and perfected over the past two years by Tom (and my willingness to ask local chefs and cooking-types their advice and suggestions):

Tom’s Famous Kofta Burgers

2 lbs 50/50 chuck/sirloin, freshly ground (preferably grass-fed, antibiotic and hormone-free; Wagshal’s is where we head for ours)

1 large (or 2 med) yellow onion: puree 3/4 of onion almost to a liquid form in the food processor, finely chop the rest for texture

1 and 1/2 tsp kosher salt

1 tsp freshly ground pepper

1 tsp freshly ground allspice (this component is key so don’t omit)

3 T chopped parsley

1/2 tsp ground cumin (best if you toast whole seeds and then grind yourself)

1/2 tsp ground coriander (same note as above)

1 T chopped fresh mint, or 1/2 tsp dried

2-3 cloves garlic, finely chopped

pinch of cinnamon and paprika, if you like

Combine all ingredients in a bowl and mix well. Shape into patties and grill or freeze. These are great served on whole wheat buns or pita with some/all of the following: hummus, maybe some red onion, Greek-style yogurt, cucumber…