Cold & funny

Ok, so on Friday, it snowed in our part of WV, and after a certain point of citizen population, street plowing sort of cuts out. The wonderful cat ‘n goat caretaker could not get here, and by mid-afternoon, I was slightly frantic about the animals. Ol was sick as all hell from his booster, so I picked him up early from school, dropped him at home, hopped in Tom’s car, which has 4-wheel drive, and hauled it up to WV.

Upon arrival, I found Lefty screaming frantically and the other 3 in various stages of distress. They could have been punking me for all I know; I AM that “sees puppy eyes on any being and immediately throws all amount of food and love their way” individual. The male cats seemed enormously happy to see me; the lone lady was calming licking her paws when I entered the barn.

Everyone got lots of extra food and love, and then I headed inside to enjoy a solitary dinner and attend a virtual book launch with Jamie Raskin. Mom and Dad were watching from Chevy Chase, and the entire time, Mom and I texted each other in such ways:

A few hours after we parted ways with Jamie, the power cut out in WV, and I was overly thankful for the ridiculously heavy comforter insert I’d bought for our duvet. I slept like a baby, but when I awoke, the inside house temp was 53 degrees. Mary, mother of god. Because I am perky AF when I’m out here, though, I peed, realized I could not flush the toilet because water pumps need electricity, and then realized I could not make coffee because of aforementioned lack of water and electricity. So, I bundled up in 90 layers and skipped out to the barn, the cats (who sleep in the garage at night) in tow.

Lefty started screaming, Rambo commenced neighing, Jemima (who, at this point, appears to be in late-stage-pregnancy-I-look-to-have-twins FUCK YOU state) glared, and Apple stared. I measured out feed as quickly as possible and threw myself into their part of the barn. The hay net was the saddest deflated balloon; upon inspection, I saw that purposefully or not, they’d bitten holes in it and gotten every strand of hay out. A hat tip to you ruminants!

Apple

I raced back inside, started a fire, and refilled all the bird feeders. Immediately, the backyard was an aviary. I nearly perished of delight. Cardinals, titmice, juncos, nuthatches, woodpeckers! And then, lo! Around 9a, the power was restored. Coffee! Heater! Toilets!

It is now 8:34p, and we have finally reached 66 degrees inside. Ol and Tom arrived in the meantime, and we all sledded, plowed, played, etc. Good stuff.

It almost felt like this had a non-nutritive cereal varnish on the bottom.

Whilst cold, I came across a few treasures that I simply must share with you because honestly? Who doesn’t need more laughter in their life?

478-2490; I have to click “forgot password” on the regular.

This is as good as Tweets get. A+

If you are celebrating Deplatforming Day, this one’s for you!

This is me a good 50% of the time. I LOVE this dog. The little paw and emphatic slam of the door!

And this is just genius. As I’ve said so many times since 2016, where would we be without comedy?
Abhor-Rent.

Why are men?

Ok, y’all, since the first trimester ultrasound that showed, clearly, Oliver’s Y chromosome, I have known that I, as a woman, would always be in the minority in my family. Percy was a boy (RIP, buddy) and Nutmeg is a giant alpha-marking-everything male. I am repeatedly thankful for graceful Ruthie and her pink collar for giving me a sex-based compatriot in this household. She never makes inappropriate bathroom choices, she is gentle and yet quite the fierce huntress, and she does not mindlessly front-load her food. #Bless

I’ve actually found that I’m quite well-suited to boyish energy and humor, and I feel a profound responsibility for and honor in raising a different kind of man. One who is emotionally sophisticated, in touch with his inner self and endowed with an expansive vocabulary with which to process and express the spectrum of feeling and experience we all have, happy to hug and say “I love you,” and so forth.

I think I’m doing a solid job. The boys are marvelous humans. They are kind, generous, both say “I love you” all the time, have zero desire to “be cool,” are good to talk to, and express a decent variety of distinct emotions. My dearest husband is all of that in spades, minus, possibly, the last two. #Bless.

THAT SAID, jesus christ. Why? Why, what? you might ask. Why the immediate veer towards extreme bachelor living? And why must everything return to phalluses? Have y’all watched Mythic Quest? It’s a TV comedy about video game programming, and one of the key messages is TTP: time to penis. How long in any game, with any resources, will it take for a penis to emerge?

Two days ago, we had our first snow of the season, and it was a real one. A beautiful, multi-inch, yes-you-can-sled-and-need-to-shovel snow.

The kids bundled up, and raced out, and suddenly, interrupted from an “I can read now?” leap, there was a knock on the window and I looked up to this:

how pleased do they look? that is NOT a snowman.

TTP: immediate.

Today, both boys finally at school (no school for either on Monday; Oliver was virtual and Jack was home on Tuesday; today was a 2-hour delay), I walked around the house cleaning. What I saw boggles the mind, and some of this is all husband.

Observe:

why dental pick while bathing? must one really do this?

why is all of this? we have so many towel hooks. also, WTF?

Why? What? Who takes a gallon of milk to his bathroom?

Points for recognizing that yes, you do need toilet paper after the other roll is used up, but A) the used roll does NOT (not pictured) need to be thrown under the vanity, not least because there is a garbage can RIGHT THERE, and B) how can difficult could it possibly be to put the tp package back into the vanity from whence YOU grabbed it, presumably while on the toilet?

Y’all. Why?

Happy New Year?

I mean, y’all. After the past -waves hand around somewhat meaninglessly- years, is it not tempting fate to wish loud and boisterous, full-of-hope Happys regarding 2022?

a hat tip to my mother for sending me this gem

Let it not come to pass

It probably is -I mean, for fucks sake, Betty White died today- but I wish you all the very best anyway.

Today we returned home from West Virginia in time to clean up for New Years Eve at the Kennedy Center. I surprised Tom and the boys with tickets to see John Oliver. We all thought it was terrifically delightful, and we were home by 10. My kind of evening. ;)

I was chagrined to find that even with these heels on:

Jack is taller than me. My god has he grown. It’s remarkable to pause a sec and take in the young man who was once so tiny and dependent but who is now neither, really.

A quick update on the goats, y’all. We found a wonderful vet who came to visit and check them out last Wednesday. We learned a TON about nutrition, how to check for worms and anemia, goat lice, and bovine probiotics. All four goats were vaxxed and had their hooves trimmed, Apple and Jemima had blood drawn for pregnancy tests (we find out for sure early next week; vet thinks they are, in fact, preggers but that if so, they still have another 4-6 weeks or so to go), Lefty was treated for worms and lice as well as given an immune booster (she is still pretty compromised post-listeria), and we changed their feed after learning about male goat susceptibility to stones due to having urethras that are tiny and become increasingly so near the exit. Overall, they looked great, and we’re hoping for two sets of twins! (AND, Lefty has become a real screamer when she sees us. It’s the best.)

Twins may pale in comparison to the unicorn moment we had yesterday morning when instead of butting each other out of the way over one bucket, the angels sang and each goat realized and accepted that each has his/her very own bucket of food, and for just a few moments, all was peaceful in the barn. It’s the little things.

Back in pjs now, I leave you with these gorgeous shots I snapped this week. How lucky we are to have a little slice of paradise. Be well, friends. Keep up the good fight! Mwah!

sunrise