Detestable Daylight Savings

I can only speak for the majority of parents in the world, but since that's a fair number of folks, I will make this assertion: Daylight Savings is a horrible, beastly bane. 

I feel pretty certain that your children, like mine today, are out of their minds with irritability and what might even look like insanity and/or rage. It's likely that not only have they had entirely too much sugar since Halloween but also not nearly enough sleep what with the late night on Saturday and then that bitchy DS yesterday.

NO ONE needs an extra hour the day after Halloween. I myself do not feel I need an extra hour anytime except if I'm sleeping soundly in a building in which my children aren't OR on vacation alone or with my husband. Those are acceptable times to lengthen any given day.

The kids were up before 5 this morning. Of course they were because normally that would be just before six which, sucktastically enough, is the norm for Jack. Ol usually goes nuts and sleeps for an extra twenty.

There are some mornings I swear I'd consider giving Jack hormones to hasten the puberty onset because only then, do I hear, do boys reliably start sleeping like the lazy slugs mothers desperately need them to be. 

Especially when you must "fall back" in time.

I knew things looked rough when I picked the boys up from school. Clearly they had had good days but had largely used up all good will and positive energy whilst there. This is, of course, optimal; I'd rather them be saintly at school and give me shit instead of the reverse. But still. 

We got home and heinous mayhem ensued. In the meantime, Oliver donned the Padmé on Geonosis costume (you know, Padmé Amidala, Queen of Naboo; Star Wars) and so looked like some sort of androgynous ninja dressed in a skintight white jumpsuit. His Superman underwear showed through winningly. It was really quite a look.

This is not Oliver, should anyone be wondering. This is a model. We don't know her. Plus, she isn't wearing royal blue superman undies. 

This is not Oliver, should anyone be wondering. This is a model. We don't know her. Plus, she isn't wearing royal blue superman undies. 

Mercifully, our marvelous babysitter, K, soon arrived, and I left for the market as the boys were pummeling the carpet with Magna-tiles because, duh, they're bombs. Not expensive toys.

I walked back in less than an hour later to Padmé screaming at Jack for daring to come within one foot of the green foam armchair that had come downstairs for some reason. Jack was shirtless and red-faced and sweaty; clearly he'd done his share of screaming too.

Pads threw himself to the kitchen floor, wailing, crying and thrashing about. I wanted to say, "Honey, you're getting that white jumpsuit awfully dirty," but decided against it. Jack was snotting and huffing and I told him to take deep breaths and pick up the Magna-tiles calmly. K continued cooking their dinner. She is unflappable in the best way.

I sent Padmé upstairs and while I unloaded groceries, notes started flitting down from his office:

It loses some steam without the "e" doesn't it?! I told Padmé that I would not deliver such meanness and tore it up. After taking a picture, natch.

Thank god he dated this one. It's been an afternoon I'll NEVER want to forget. 

A third note flitted down: "Jack, Sre."

Well, I'm glad he apologized.

I am hiding in bed before my tennis lesson with Tom, and the heathens seem to have settled themselves for dinner. 

I'm sending all of you vibes of good sleep tonight and saving some for us.

Happy Halloween: our first alone

I remember being very fond of Halloween when I was younger. I once dressed as a bunch of grapes, a costume I made by safety pinning many purple balloons to an oversized sweatshirt and bobby pinning a green felt stem atop my head. I looked like raisins by the end, so often did I pop a grape on prickly bushes along the way.

My whole family and my sister's close friends once dressed as giant butts. I haven't the slightest idea why. Were they a Saturday Night Live thing?

I trick-or-treated well into high school. Now that I wrack my brain, I think those grapes were for a night out with my boyfriend and our pals. I wonder what he and they dressed up as.

In general though, I've never been a fan of costumes, and since leaving for college, I don't think I've donned one. For Halloween or otherwise. My most inspired college get-up was "Night"- I wore black and used eyeliner to draw a star on one cheek and a moon on the other.

Lame. My guy friends way outdid me. I was ok with that. Still am.

Tom and I did dress Percy in a tuxedo when he was a pup, and Tom one year -maybe that same year? for our "first child"- wore doctor scrubs. I can't imagine what had come over us.

Long story short, Halloween is not my favorite holiday. Not by a mile, but of course, the kids adore it!  Wait for it! Think about it for months! 

And tonight, Sherlock and Phantom decided to orphan T and me by going trick-or-treating with friends. 

Jack's best buddy turned 10 today, and he invited my boys to join him and his brother and a pal. I assumed Oliver would want to stay with us, but once Jack talked up his buddy's enthusiastic neighborhood, there was no turning back. Ol would rake in the candy.

Momentarily, I felt sad. I also felt those oh-so-familiar pangs of maternal guilt and worry: "aren't I supposed to be walking the rounds with them? Making sure they're saying thank you as well as trick or treat? Being present during this tradition?"

But then my heart bloomed with pride, for the confidence and independence the boys carry with them more and more frequently. For the ways they are forging their own paths, brick by brick.

That is as it should be. 

Earlier, I showed Jack how to knot his scarf the European way. "It will look more Sherlockian that way, honey." 

Sherlock and his buddy

Sherlock and his buddy

He mastered the figure eight move in a flash, and I looked upon my handsome boy proudly. 

"Honey, do you want to wear a light sweater under your trench? It really might get chilly tonight."

"Mom, I'm fine. Really. I'm all good." No sass, no sarcasm. Just the facts, ma'am.

I love seeing him in this capacity. If it had turned out to be freezing, he'd have learned a lesson. But he made a calculated decision based on what he knew of today's temperature and tonight's forecast, and he's right. He's totally fine out there. I know it.

Ol the Phantom

Ol the Phantom

Oliver, meanwhile, said, "Don't be sad, mama. You won't be lonely. You have Daddy and we won't be home late."

And he's right too. 

Tom made a gumbo, I steamed the rice. And when the boys got home, we all ate together. They told us all about their evening, we watched the inventory comparison and they bartered and gifted. Both passed me an Almond Joy. "Mom, we got these just for you. At the first house."

And I beamed and ate both and hugged my babes tight.