So very Oliver

This afternoon, I was wiping down the walls in the stairwell and hall because with four little boy hands around, they get more crud on them than you could possibly imagine. I came across some drawing and while I was hopeful it was in pencil, it was, in fact, pen. Knowing Jack would never do such a thing, I sternly said to Oliver, "do not write on the walls again. This is not OK, especially because you wrote in pen." He replied, with quite the aggrieved tone, "well, I wanted to trace my hand but there wasn't any paper." Y'all, I am not going to lie, I nearly died laughing. If you'd have heard him say this, it'd be even funnier because he has such a priceless accent (the origins are unclear). This kid is really going to give us hell as a teenager, and I'm totally sure he'll be arrested for something remarkably dumb during his later teens. He's the sweetest and most loving soul, but he is mischievous as get-out and quite the BS artist too. About an hour ago, I had an inspo for dinner: a puff pastry tart filled with caramelized onions, fresh figs, blue cheese and bacon and topped with arugula!

Hilarious quotes

Scene: Oliver and Jack are playing outside in their playhouse when I hear a blood-curdling scream. I race outside to see Oliver hauling ass out of the playhouse, tears flowing behind him. "What, honey, what??!!" I ask as I scoop him up. "A mosquito mom, a mosquito." I'm thinking, are you effing serious? Mosquitos are like dust, they're everywhere, why the concern now. He then says, "I was so freaked out that my gum flew out of my mouth onto the playhouse floor." Jack verified this. I was in hysterics over his correct use of freaked out and the image of his gum flying out. Scene: The boys are in the bath tonight, and J stands up and asks, in all seriousness and while gripping his testicular region, "I forget, are these called my drums?" HAH! I about fell out. "No, honey, those are testicles inside the scrotum." His face scrunched up in a bit of confusion and he asked "technicals?" No, honey, "testicles."

What a day. I am so tired I almost don't care about dinner. Isn't that freaky? Nonetheless, I just made a swiss chard/eggplant/tahini/warm lemon oil saute and plopped it all over some fresh tomatoes. I've got some chicken breasts that I might cook with rosé and figs. Or, I might put some salt and pepper on them and have T throw them on the grill. Hmm...

Sleepless night, almond joy inspired ice cream a'coming

Jack ended up sleeping with me last night, and as such, it was not a remotely restful one. When Jack sleeps, he is like a windmill in gale-force winds crossed with a quidditch bludger wrestling mightily to escape the straps securing it in its box. He's also noisy. At one point, he groaned loudly and heaved himself over me perpendicularly. Leg kicks, arms shooting with abandon, exclamations and rolling- all in all, it was a miserable night of sleep for moi, and I had a really bad dream which I cannot even bear to write down. I feel really rough today and am definitely lacking in both patience and zest. T doesn't know it yet, but I am sleeping in the basement tonight! Inspired by the ease and success of my recent honey and spiced fig ice cream, I decided to make more but this time thought chocolate, almond, coconut and the slightest bit of cardamom might make for a delicious combo. Let me tell you that so far it is really, really good. The chocolate-cardamom egg-custard base is chilling now, and tonight when the end of churning nears, I'm going to stir in some toasted, shredded coconut and some toasted almonds. Yowzers, eh!?

Before that, however, I'm taking J to Tae Kwon Do belt testing- hopefully he returns home an Orange Belt!!