Kids: eating and their palates, part 3

One reader asked, following part 1 of this little series, what happens if my kids adore something, like mangoes, that aren't ever local? And what if they want something that just doesn't jive with my outlook? Great questions. Let's start with the first query. It is true that if you're a sincere, dedicated locavore, you're never going to eat certain things. Mangoes are not growing in DC as far as I know. But Mexico isn't New Zealand, and when champagne mangoes come into season, I cannot help but buy them by the bushel. Organic/local- it's a definite mental conversation.

I do make every effort to look for purveyors who source such products in a Fair Trade way, meaning that the growers and pickers are paid a fair, living wage, encouraged to create sustainable businesses that will generate regular incomes, and are not, to the best of my knowledge, exploited. When I buy unrefined cane sugar from Malawi, for example, I pay a little more despite the longer distance from me because I like supporting groups who hew to such a just mission. It is a balancing act in which I find myself often engaged. For example, there aren't many local, organic orchards; apples attract many pests, and as such, lots of farmers spray. Because apples are high on the "suck up LOTS of pesticides" list though, I tend to preference organic over locale for them which often results in me buying apples from Washington state rather than Virginia during certain months of the year.

If I think something defeats my purpose of organic/local and will be devoid of taste, then we simply say we'll enjoy it when its season comes round. See: previously discussed watermelon, winter tomatoes.

I haven't, thus far, had much difficulty with the second question, that about desired foods that go against my philosophical grain. Sodas, sugar cereals (other than the organic Cinnamon Toast Crunch that we all love) and really weird food products don't reside here -ever- and we don't eat fast food. Industrially-produced meat is the food about which I am most manic and I admit to doing my damnedest to ensure that the boys eat as little-to-none of it as possible. Otherwise, especially as they get older, I try to stay the path of "everything in moderation, including moderation" which I think was said by the wonderfully spirited Jacques Pepín. Agreed.

Tomorrow: what do these little boys actually eat?

Kids: eating and their palates, part 2

So, do my kids eat the myriad dishes I concoct? Certainly not always! Jack has tried beets several times but has decided that they are something he'll like "when I'm a grown-up," and he cannot tolerate some mushy stuff like mashed potatoes, goat cheese, and cheesecake. He does love applesauce, ice cream and so forth, but the former three literally make him throw up immediately. So, I don't force those at all. Oliver goes gang-busters on most foods but on occasion you can tell that something just does not look appealing to him. Again, I encourage tasting but don't force it too much. A number of books I've read and courses I took reiterated that taste-acquisition can take up to 10 times of repeated trials, so keep offering, keep encouraging tasting and one day, some previously disliked food might just become a love. Strategies I employ and have had success with:

1) As much as you can tolerate, cook with your kids. Involving them in the process (like gardening with them) makes them feel pride and ownership in the outcome. I was once making a Brussels sprouts salad in which you blanch, chill and then food process the B. sprouts. Jack asked if he could man the food processor, and ever since has professed to "LOVE" Brussels sprouts. He walks the walk too, and while he doesn't eat a full plate like I do, he'll nosh on a couple, and I figure that's a great start. Likewise, he has now twice asked to experiment and make a dip. Both times I vetted the ingredients he was considering (I wouldn't let him waste anything or mix items that would be revolting together) and let him go to town. Both times he's actually come up with good dips that he has then devoured. The first was a white bean and avocado concoction, and the second was avocados, capers, lemon and something else. Oliver, too, loves the process and the outcomes.

2) Suggest foods that align with their interests, or find connections between their interests and foods you'd like them to eat. For example, while Jack has always loved beans of pretty much any stripe, once he learned that cowboys eat beans when out on the range, he will eat at least half a can at any sitting. Seeing him do so encourages Oliver to eat the other half. You should see them go nuts on kidney beans or garbanzos, both of which pack a huge nutritional punch.

3) International lunch/dinner: I got this great idea from a dear friend; every Sunday, she and her hubby take their kids out to dinner at a restaurant that highlights a different global cuisine. I like this because a) it's cool and the parents get to eat yummy food too, b) making something part of your family routine ultimately makes said activity easier because it's expected, and c) the kids get used to going to new places with new flavors and connecting that experience to family time. It's also a great way to learn about a new part of the country or world with food as the starting point. Because my boys have always gone to bed so early, we do international lunch. They have been troopers at Indian, French and Middle Eastern spots!

4) Make faces on their plates with food. While I am strict about food not being a toy and not being something we play with or waste, I definitely want eating to be a pleasurable and fun experience. Banana rounds with raisins on them make great eyes, peas make funny hair, cheese makes a funny nose... Or try buildings... carrot sticks make great log cabins or towers. You see where I'm going with this. Don't be too serious or strict, have fun!

5) Don't make a big deal out of foods not always considered "kid-friendly." All foods can be kid-friendly! For example, salmon. I have been feeding the kids salmon since they were tots. Capers go a long way in making it thrilling for them, and it is extremely rare that they don't clean their plates when I serve it. I have never seen any reason to eat American cheese. What is it? Why? Why does it look waxy? So, I've never introduced it in my home. Instead I've just taken them to markets and cheese stalls and other shops that offer "tasters," as they love to say, and let them know that whatever they truly love, I'll buy for home. Hence their obsession with the marble cheese full of ash. Smoothies- I just load them with spinach and recently, when we didn't have any, Jack bemoaned its absence. I don't know that he'd eat a huge plate of plain spinach but he's happy to eat it when it's blended in. It "makes the smoothie pretty." Again, a great start. Remember, taste counts, and a little salt is ok. Lemon is great, spices yum! If it's something that would make you turn up your nose, it might cause them the same reaction.

6) Eat with them! Pretty much every day, as you might know, Oliver and I share a huge salad for lunch. It's a great bonding time and he will try anything in "our salad." Tom regularly grills kofta burgers (Lebanese flavors; see Em-i-lis Recipes), and the three of them eat like voracious animals!

7) Do give them some choice! I don't want the boys to think I'm a short-order cook who'll indulge their every culinary whim, but I do think it's respectful of their preferences and developing palates to offer choice. Not the whole kitchen sink, but a reasonable 2-3. Do you want broccoli, edamame or bell peppers? Apples or grapes? Chicken or meatballs? Here again, I'm drawing on the idea of empowerment, asking themselves, "what am I hungry for? what sounds good to me?"

8) "If you don't have room for those last few bites, you don't have room for dessert." If the boys say they're full but then ask for dessert, I respond with a line like this one. While I don't ask them to finish everything their plate, I do take real notice of how much they started with and where they are when they start thinking sweets. If they're at about 75% done, I might suggest two more bites. If they're not even close to a quarter or such, I don't even entertain the idea until they've made greater progress. Almost always though, when we get down to the time that dessert is becoming a possibility, and I say "no dessert OR x # of bites more" they will either eat the bites or turn down dessert.

I'm sure these aren't fool-proof, but I've had really good success with them.

Kids: eating and their palates, part 1

Recently, one dear reader mentioned that she'd really enjoy hearing more about what my kids eat -do they actually eat what I cook?- their willingness to try new things, and the thoughts I probably have on the subject (of course I do!). So here goes, part 1 of a mini-series on my food philosophy as it relates to my kids. My evolving philosophy:

For starters let me say that I am certainly no expert on any of this. I'm not a nutritionist though I am a voracious reader of all material related to nutrition, nutrition science, cooking, the ways in which our food is produced (the environmental and animal welfare backgrounds) and the ways in which eating habits are formed and become ingrained. In my second graduate program, Human Development and Psychology, I took a class co-taught by leaders at the Sesame Workshop (the organization that produces Sesame Street; Ses St tries very hard to teach healthful living to its young viewers) on childhood nutrition, obesity prevention and health education. The importance of the family meal was underscored as critical to preventing obesity as was teaching healthy eating patterns from the time your kids are born. I also took a course on eating disorders which emphasized how eating patterns become negatively tweaked and damaged; have you ever noticed how most young children stop eating the moment they feel full, regardless of how yummy something tastes? They simply walk away, no weird inner dialogue about it, no emotional connection to it. I found studying the ways in which eating becomes emotional, tethered to feelings such as boredom, sadness and so forth fascinating. Why do so many folks stop paying attention to what hunger and satiety really feel like? And ultimately, I brought all of this to the table, so to speak, when Jack was born.

Having always been an at-home mom, I've been the primary food source for my boys. First I nursed them and then I decided what foods we'd have in our home, where we'd eat out when we did, and so forth. I knew I wanted them to eat the most healthful foods possible, and that's why I focus mostly on organics; within that I try to distill the industrial organics from the smaller-source ones (Earthbound vs your local farmer, for example) simply because I prefer supporting small farms when possible. It seems more carbon footprint friendly to me. Anyway, I memorized the "the most important organic produce to buy" list (based on which foods tend to suck up the greatest concentration of pesticides) and started there. As I became better educated, I moved on to dairy, meats, eggs and so forth. Now we're nearly 100% organic in our home and as often, seasonal. By that I mean that we don't eat watermelon in January because it's not in season here which means it's been schlepped in from somewhere really far away. Though it might be organic, the carbon footprint of its trip to me seems antithetical to my whole philosophy on the environmental aspects of healthy living. So, we eat what's in season, and I like the ways in which that's helped us feel in sync with the local ecosystems and the associated knowledge and awareness we've gleaned from that.

How I translate this to the kids:

I've always tried to show the boys the connections between what we eat and how those decisions affect our bodies and the Earth. I explain why I'm not buying the watermelon in January: 1) it probably doesn't actually taste very good (if at all), and 2) it's not its season here. We talk about how a lot of bugs are beneficial, how the outdoors is their home, like our house is our home, and so we need to respect their environment too by not spraying chemicals everywhere. We get out in the garden and dig, holding plump, healthy worms gently, and watching how many (seemingly) thousands there are when we turn our compost pile. The worms in our yard are so robust. I swear to you that in another yard in which chemicals are applied liberally and in which the boys sometimes get to dig, the worms are the most bizarre color and just seem rather flacid and off.

Since we moved into our house, we've put a lot of effort in to making the yard healthy so that the boys can play without me fretting about toxins and so that we can grow food out there. This year it looks better than ever, and the kids love watching everything grow. They'll taste anything they've had a hand in growing and for me that underscores how valuable it is to include them in the food and eating decision-making process. It's why I take them to the farmers market almost weekly, because there too, they will just go to town trying new things. And it's why we just don't keep certain things in the house. No sugary cereals, for example, no soda.

Tom and I love to eat, and being from Louisiana, I just couldn't have picky kids who only ate white foods or some similar travesty. :) So as soon as each child was old enough to get going on solids, I put before them a huge array of tastes with various degrees of spiciness. I never made a big fuss about any of it but I tried to encourage them to try everything by showing how enthusiastic I was in eating it all. I also don't eat differently than they do which means that we often have the same meal, or when we eat at different times, I make them something I'd want to eat myself. I don't make them eat everything on their plates because I want them to hold on, as long as possible, to the ability to hear the messages their bodies are sending them. They both love spicy foods as well as a wide array of foods from different countries and cultures. Sure, they don't eat enough sometimes, and we have to have a snack intervention. And sure, Jack went through a pickier phase as will Oliver I imagine, but I've tried not to stress too much about it as I find the bigger deal I make, the bigger an issue it becomes.

I feel like this has worked well in my family. When Jack was in his three-year-old year in nursery school, they had a party to celebrate the 100th day of school. He wanted to bring 100 chocolate chips, so we counted them out and he brought them in. Most kids had brought some kind of sugary treat, and J ate his face off. I will tell you that he came home growling and when I asked what was wrong, he said, "I think all that stuff is making me feel bad and mad. I will never eat that much chocolate/sugar (however he described it) again." And do you know he hasn't? Not once. He knows his limits and respects them.

Treats:

That story illuminates the issue of treats. While I am fairly strict regarding the boys' sugar intake, I have never refused them dessert or treats. Think of how much you want something if you tell yourself you cannot have it EVER, AT ALL, NOT EVEN A BITE. That is a shortcut to overindulgence and obsession. My rule has always been, eat your fruits, veggies, grains, proteins and fats and then you may surely have a dessert treat. We bend the rules on birthdays or the last day of school or special dates and so forth, but in general, they know the plan and it doesn't even phase them. And by dessert treat, I mean 4 mini-marshmallows or m&ms, or a scoop of ice cream or one cookie. Literally a treat. Not nothing but not a lot either.

More in the next installment...