Sometimes, being an island is the way to go

Friends, you will on occasion, sometimes more than others, not like the people you love. This is normal and OK, as long as your love is true and your dislike isn't constant. Children, partners and parents probably fit this bill most frequently, but we all know that sometimes, friends, acquaintances, presidential candidates and complete strangers can feel like despised entities.

In these moments, please feel you have the right to go radio silent. A glass of wine is a nice, quiet comrade but so is a coffee or cup of tea and a chocolate cookie or the like. 

I may or may not have taken" five-to-fifteen" tonight around 7:30pm. Armed with a glass of wine and an active Instagram feed, it's possible I gave Tom the Code Red look and hauled ass to the next room. 

Everyone was tired, Ol lost a found "treasure" today and his tears plus Jack's supportive ones might have solved California's water crisis had we been stateside. We ingested the whole of the Colosseum and the Forum, we walked and walked, and J literally talked for thirteen hours straight.

People, I just don't care about the permanent Inquisitor that you can buy with a zillion coins in Angry Birds Star Wars. I also do not feel that the children need Star Wars hand-cuffs bought in Rome or more than one gelato per day when they act like amped-up speed whores afterwards.

Frigidarium has exceptional gelato.

We are having a grand time, but family "vacation" is really quite a misnomer in some moments of said getaway.

So, be an island when you need to be. Islands are often vastly interesting, independent things, full of fascinating life, unique ecosystems, and beauty. Be that island and restore!

Chin-chin, salute!

Blissed out in a dreamed-about place

The Temple of Antoninus and Faustina on the Roman Forum. Built 141 AD.

the remains of the Temple of Vesta, on the Forum (also where, PS, the freaking vestal virgins kept the flame alive. I do believe being a vestal virgin guaranteed women a better life than they'd have had otherwise, BUT being a vestal virgin couldn't have been much fun.)

beautiful view tonight while walking in Rome.

40 in forty: Write thank you notes and check in

40 in forty bit of wisdom today: write thank you notes! If you have kids/spouses who don't already, make them write thank you notes too.

If you like paper, treat yourself to some beautiful stationery and a pretty pen that isn't terribly prone to smudging. If you couldn't care less about these objets, stick with your basic note pad and ballpoint; the point is the thought behind and appreciation in your words.

A terrific thank you note needn't be overly long. It simply needs to be personal and reflective: why do you like what you've been given or had done for you? How have you enjoyed it, or how do you plan to enjoy it?

In this harried time, connection with others is easier than ever in many ways but often more superficial. Receiving a sincere, well-considered letter of gratitude slows everything down for a moment, allowing the person who thought of you first to both enjoy anew his or her lovely action and know how appreciated that action was. 

Tangentially, if you know or suspect that someone is having a tough time, check in. You never know how much a hug (real or virtual), quick text or call can help and mean.

Extra bonus: sending notes of thanks and reaching out to others will make you feel fabulous!
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Rome is too beautiful not to share, so I'm foisting more photographs upon you. 

in Trastevere

An elderly woman watches out over a Trastevere piazza. I love her pink shawl.

Artichoke crostini; a delicious part of lunch.

artichokes at the campo dei fiori market

I never tire of these colors. Lawd a'mercy.

A festive spirit goes a long way: 40 in forty

"Mama, you are always up for a party," Oliver said to me as I prepped for our Academy Awards fete last month. 

"Right you are, Ol," I replied, pleased that he's noticed. "A festive spirit makes life more fun."

I attribute a great deal of my spirit to having grown up in Louisiana where pretty much anything --from birth, marriage, and death- are cause for some sort of celebration. I think there's much to be said about a place where parties are thrown so regularly and where even the saddest funeral is lightened with laughter over fond, shared memories at one point or another. Second lines, wakes, weddings, Mardi Gras, Christmastime, all infused with music, food, drink and a varying degree of fancy dress...well, suffice it to say that Louisiana is an animated place.

It is also true that I've always enjoyed bringing people together and that doing so causes me no worry or stress. Mom used to pay me to worry for her before parties she threw; easiest job I ever had because the preparation didn't vex me in the slightest.

There are moments in which I've regretted planning a party, or felt overwhelmed by the timing of it, but I've never lamented actually carrying through with the plans.

I've also found that a merry nature can make the dullest meeting more pleasant, enable me to get to know others in ways I might not otherwise, and make less major moments feel special and joyful. Half-birthdays, a random Tuesday, you get my drift. This spirit of embracing and celebrating is something I try hard to pass on to my boys. I think they're doing a fine job so far.

Life is hard, the weeks can feel awfully long, and sometimes all it takes is popping a cork-of champagne, wine or sparkling apple cider- and using stemware or asking a few friends over for dinner or channeling your inner kid to bring some needed lightness to it all.

Time spent laughing is never time wasted. And joy shared is a lovely gift for all involved.

Ol's 7th birthday party was today

His character name was Darth Leprechaun. I do NOT worry about this kid's spirit.

Ol's Pot of Gold cake