On cleaning the kitchen

The older I get, the more attached to value-sized jugs of white vinegar, my vacuum cleaner and torn pieces of Tom's old tees I feel. I love multi- and repurposed items, and vinegar and worn shirts are surely some of the least expensive powerhouses out there. When I find it hard to settle, which is fairly often, I clean. 

There's never a lack of cleaning to be done in a home with children whose first instinct is not to tidy up, a husband I've nicknamed the "Grand Relocator," and pets who collectively shed enough each day that a large area rug can be woven. 

When everyone is packed up, dropped off and kissed goodbye, and I finally shut the door to a quiet home, I assess what I hope to accomplish as well as the state of my carpets, counters and kitchen. 

The kitchen is my favorite room to master because it is my domain more so than any other except, perhaps, the garden. I like to return it to a blank slate before embarking on any new recipe: shiny counters, a mopped floor, a gleaming sink, a loaded dishwasher, an open range. In concert, the clean and unfettered expanse seems to make more possible a spectacular culinary outcome. 

Armed with nothing more than a spray bottle and various brushes, towels and detail implements like old toothbrushes and toothpicks, I indulge my type-A desires and quiet my mind.

Do you have any idea how revolting the rubber insert for your garbage disposal is? It drips with foul-smelling beige slime! Use a toothbrush to scrub the steel round in which it sits while you let the rubber soak in a vinegar-water mix. Throw a lemon half and some ice cubes into the disposal and process for good measure. This will make things smell nice and keep the disposal's blades clean and sharp.

Have you ever used a toothpick to detail the small spaces between your stove and counter? In and around the displays on your oven and dishwasher? Around the vents in the hood above your range? You'll be amazed at the wiry looking squiggles of grease and grime that come up easily under the assertive poke of a toothpick point. 

I like to look across my floor, as if I might be getting just the angle to skip rocks across a glassy lake, and see the sticky spots from whatever has been dropped or flung or dribbled down chins during the prior days. A quick once-over with my mop, and things look as new.

Tumbleweeds of pet hair and dust come up agreeably with my vacuum; finally I have one with great suction. The counters gleam as new with a strong-armed wipe. And when I'm finally done, have tossed the shirt-rags into the basement, have put away the sponges and cleaner, my mind is calm, my body is peaceful, and my kitchen is ready to be dirtied again.

Good morning? afternoon?

I have, lately, taken more than my customary days away from Em-i-lis and have missed it. I love this space and all it offers me including, not least, connecting with you. I'm in a writing class which is a daily commitment; infinitely luxurious but daily and in addition to visits from family and much to do with school.

All parents I know feel as if we are collectively sprinting to the end of a nine-month marathon. School.is.ending.soon. So soon. Sadly soon. I have been at school pretty much every day this week for something important, a schedule that seems the norm these last weeks of the year. The boys have had marvelous experiences in kindergarten and third, and as the start of school always makes me wistfully excited, the end renders me wistfully nostalgic. 

I haven't had much time to cook lately (though those lemon dilly carrots were very good) and what I have, I've photographed pretty terribly, but that's ok too. Ol and Jack continue to create enough wonder and coolness and beauty to sustain us all in the absence of any I can muster. In art class recently, during a study of Calder, Jack made a wire Pi Guy. I love it anyway, but he and I have taken to hiding it in the other's room when no one's looking.

I found Pi Guy hanging from my fan this morning, and he's now holding on tight to a light saber on Jack's wall. Yesterday he was riding Jack's stuffed polar bear and was on my lamp shade. It's hilarious.

Ol has rediscovered a cool toy I bought the boys when in Charleston. Tom Tec T's (don't ask me about the name). Isn't his giraffe fetching?

Votes on "the pillow" have started coming in; so far it's 60-40 love-hate. Hah! So funny too!

If you're sprinting, I hope you also take some time to pause and give a little back to yourself. Doing so is never a mistake.

Stew-thinking about life online

I have recently been thinking a great deal about the internet age in which we find ourselves, in which my kids are growing up, and I am growing out.

On the one hand, while social media is often lots of fun and an excellent way to keep up with news and events as they unfold, it can also be vapid, cringe-inducing and an enormous waste of time. Others' perfectly curated, multi-filtered social media feeds can make even the most confident person pause with doubt and tremulously ask, "Shit, do I have it together at all?"

The flip side of that veneer, however, is the extraordinary depth underneath it. There thrives a world constrained by nothing but one's connection speed. It is a place to meet others with similar interests, to learn about alternate viewpoints, to grow and connect with people from all over.

I didn't understand this world until relatively recently. Just didn't know it was there I guess. Having grown up and lived my most formative years without email, smart phones and the omnipresent web, going online for friends and outlet and study wasn't something I thought an option.

My blog was my foray into the wired world, and my life there has deepened exponentially as I've become friends with readers, been inspired by other bloggers, taken a slew of classes and attended various writing conferences. 

What I've been so repeatedly struck by is the generosity, warmth, open and supportive natures of many I've met. Of course there are the standard jerkface, selfish people who roam among us, and no one gets along with everyone, but there is so much humanity out there, so much honesty and real care.

It's as if someone shook the picnic blankets on which all the old "villages" stood, tossing them to the far corners on capricious winds. And since that dissolution, people have been working their way back toward one another, finding new tribes and reconnecting with old ones along the way.

The internet has hastened these connections, has made possible what might otherwise be unimaginable. And in the meantime, it's offered new life, hope and promise to many. 

Personally, it's given me a space to develop and grow confident in my voice. It's shown me that what some may consider my weaknesses, others value and appreciate; that's been awfully liberating even though ages-old self-judgments are hard to shrug off. It's often made me feel less alone. It's as often helped me accept myself more thoroughly and to stand up for that self. It's enabled me to clearly distinguish between the sort of friends who are the most true and those who aren't; many of the good pals I am so fortunate to have are, in some way, related to the sense of self and community that has evolved since I entered the web. 

In short, a vibrant, rich, supportive life online has made my offline life better and clearer in countless ways. 

I have a friend who loathes the concept of the village. She understands the concept's appeal but just detests the name. I'm laughing as I write this because not only do I actually love the "village" construct but also because it cracks me up to think of her rolling her eyes when/if she reads this. 

Maybe I love it because I craved such a community or simply because I need a village as I make my way through this life. More often than not, I find life hard. Just plain difficult. I used to feel this was an enormous failure on my part, some horrid mutation that I was cursed by. But I yam who I yam, and even when I wish I were a lighter being, the relief that comes from accepting myself is incalculably huge. It's a long drink of ice water after trudging through the Mojave in July. 

I'm happy to have landed here.