A Case for Thorns

I awoke to my cell phone nearly vibrating off my night-table. Earplugs in, deep in slumber, I shot to a seated position, answered the call with what must have been a weirdly vague monotone and heard a cheerful voice asking if the boys were planning to attend camp today. "Of course!" Quick glance at my phone's clock and a stunned realization that Tom and I had overslept by hours. "I am SO sorry we are late for the bus. Please leave without the boys, and I'll drive them out to camp myself."

I called downstairs to the boys who were completely immersed in a Pokémon movie on the iPad, told them to hurry upstairs to get dressed, thanked them profusely for staying inside (y'all might recall their getaway and subsequent return by the FBI round about this time last summer; yes, it is hilarious now.) and raced to pack lunches/get dressed/make coffee/etc.  Tom said he was sorry I had to make the drive. I, myself, just figured it'd lead to a new adventure and really, what else did I need to be doing?

We were out of the house in fifteen minutes and another forty minutes later pulled happily into camp, just as their bus did.

It was such an utterly fortuitous occurrence really. It was the boys' last day at this amazing camp, and I got to see just a bit of why they're so happy there. Then, since I was already out in the agricultural part of Maryland, I decided to go to a pick-your-own farm.

My first attempt led to a road to nowhere and then my gas light went on and I needed to relieve myself something fierce. To a field, to a Sunoco, through the car wash into which I spontaneously opted and back onto the road. This time to Larriland Farm, a spot I've long wanted to visit but which always seems just too far away for most days. It's out in Woodbine, MD, and though it's not completely organic, they spray very minimally.

www.em-i-lis.com

I started in the peach orchard and felt happiness and zen just coursing through my veins. Butterflies fluttered all around, and the to-be-lush peaches nearly glowed on their perches. Peaches are an awfully lusty fruit when you consider them. This butterfly would surely concur.

www.em-i-lis.com

 

My instructions were to pick the ones that were firm with a yellow blush under the red cheek because those had developed the best flavor and would ripen perfectly at room temp in one to three days. I found twenty-two pounds of divine before cutting myself off, realizing that blackberry and raspberry patches still awaited.

In the mess of blackberry vines, I thought of Nanny. I thought back to all the days my sister and I spent picking berries at her house, and I rued the loss of thorns on the fancy bushes from which I plucked today. Those thorns added challenge and work to a process which inevitably yielded such a delicious outcome; the caution we took, the thought behind each pick made our success that much better. That much sweeter.

www.em-i-lis.com

Too often today, the drive towards efficiency also means movement away from hardship. Things become easier and more sterile, requiring less thought and patience. But where does that get us? Does that make us appreciate things more? No. On the contrary, it becomes all too easy to take for granted things that once were time-consuming and arduous but which gave accomplishment a deeper since of reward and fulfillment. Today's thornless blackberry bushes are yesterday's calculators; thorns and longhand division took longer, but didn't picking carefully and learning the how behind the answer mean something?!

Nevertheless, I loved every minute I spent picking my sixteen pounds of blackberries. I envisioned pies and the jam Jack loves like crazy. I thought about blackberry-buttermilk muffins, and smoothies, and cobblers, and on and on. The guys at the register said, "Wow, that is a LOT of blackberries!" and with delight I said, "I know!! It's amazing!"

www.em-i-lis.com

Tired but energized, I paid up and then headed back to the raspberries for a new box and a new go. I am glad that I had no idea how hard raspberry picking is. Peaches and blackberries would be easy tasks for blind dogs, but raspberries are just not for the faint of heart. Good god!

Japanese beetles and honeybees were a'swarm and raspberries usually do not want to let go of the core to which they desperately cling. It was nearing 1:00p when I starting picking; I hadn't eaten since 8, hadn't brushed my teeth or had much water. I didn't have a hat or bug spray, not that I'd have worn either. The guys at the blackberry patch said the raspberry picking was "good, not great." And when I reached the raspberries, they looked peaked, and that's putting it kindly, and tired moms and a strangely high number of babies in Bjorns were a'whine.

But give me a thorny challenge, and I will rise. I am telling y'all, I was hell bent on becoming a master raspberry plucker. And soon enough, most everyone else had left, and I'd realized the bees really didn't want to sting me and the beetles are stupid bugs that are easily flicked away and if you look up and to the ground and under the leaves (same as with the blackberries), you'll find the gems that others didn't notice. And I got four beautiful pounds of the most scrumptious raspberries I've ever tasted. And every bit of getting there was an itchy, dirty, sweaty joy.

www.em-i-lis.com

Also, no one should ever complain about how much raspberries that someone else has picked cost. Just pay for them and be thankful and get on with yourself, because raspberry picking is NOT an easy job.

At this point, I considered going to the tomato fields but opted against it. I was so hungry and hot and tired and an hour from home and the boys were coming back. So I went into the farm about bought a few tomatoes and an ice-cold, all-natural root beer and briefly spoke to a delightful old woman, the sort of which makes me think a bit of Ouiser in Steel Magnolias. If Ouiser moved further north and went liberal. I am a complete sucker for this type of woman.

Picture her: practical, tie-under-the-chin floppy sun bonnet; white shirt tucked into a mid-calf denim skirt; reasonable shoes; drives a Prius. This gal bought a fair amount of produce but what really took me back was the 15 dozen ears of corn she tacked on at the end. I couldn't stop myself. I said, "I am so impressed. What are you going to do with that much corn?"

"Well, I'm gonna stay up all night cookin' it and freezin' it." And she beamed me the warmest smile ever, and I felt a tad lame for feeling all awesome about my one billion pounds of fruit. Fruit is one thing. Corn, while easy to cook, is still something to deal with. I mean, what kind of a pot can accommodate more than six ears at the most? Do the math, and that's a frickload of times you're cooking corn.

"Hats off to you! I'm going home to can my berries. Good luck with the corn." And then I twisted off my root beer cap, took a big swig and slowly walked out to my car as she started loading the Prius.

That root beer tasted so good, and I headed home to take a shower and realize that I have no where in the fridge to store my berries. Alas. A friend texts -she of the 'her parents have a farm in DE and I am the lucky recipient of excess'- and asks if she can drop off some tomatoes. "Sure, sure!"

15 minutes later I get "some tomatoes" and feel inordinately grateful not only for her generosity but also that I did NOT go to the tomato patch earlier. Ya think?

www.em-i-lis.com

"I have two more of these at home. You're one of the only people I could think of who might take them." And I'm like, "Are you kidding? You've brought me tomato Mecca in a tub!" One person's thorn is another's diamond.

Imperfections are human. Challenges make life harder but more rewarding. Thorns are both perfectly imperfect and totally challenging, and I wouldn't have them any other way.

Peach Pie Jam and a Class, ear clog

How Ear Clog Can Facilitate Inadvertent Telephone Game

I awoke this morning with severely clogged ears. The children and I were like ships in the night because I could only hear about half of what they said. Now I'm not saying this is a bad thing, because the Pokémon obsession has not waned and my interest in it has definitely not grown, but it was such an odd experience to have misconversations. Kinda funny too.

"Boys, why are you each clad only in a shirt?"

I meant this literally because they were both completely naked except for tees which hung to mid-bum; tragically, they resembled what I imagine pedophiles look like when home alone. It's a terrible look.

"Where is my bathing suit?"

"What? We have no laundry chute."

"What, MOM?? What does that even mean?"

To myself: "What the eff are those kids making up now? They are nuts, and I really wish they'd at least put on some underpants."

I make coffee for me and breakfast for them. While they eat I attempt to explain what clogged ears feel like and with them how one experiences sound.

"I feel like I'm underwater or far away."

"Mom, can you hear me? Can you hear me?"

"Yes, boys, you're four flipping feet from me. I just mean the sound sounds garbled."

"What's garbled? Like weird? Can you hear me?"

"Yes, like hard to understand."

"What?"

Who's on first, for the love. I do feel that I've turned a corner in the health department so that's good.

I made their lunches for camp (just seven days of lunch-making left! Making lunches blows; that their school provides excellent-quality lunches every day makes me not care about the tuition. SUCH.A.LUXURY. I can see why my mother went on cooking strike after making my sister and me lunches for 10 years.) and got them to camp and came home to attempt to clear my ears and prep for my canning class.

Peach Pie Jam

As these events pretty much always are, this one was an absolute delight. It's fun to meet new people and welcome those you already know and then preach the gospel of something you love to do and probably would be doing anyway. We made Peach Pie Jam and also did a jam tasting of six or seven I'm canned so far this summer. Everything was a hit!

www.em-i-lis.com

And now, back to the couch. Just in case!

Sloth on a couch

The sloth

That would be me. I am sorry to report in a fairly self-pitying tone that I feel a bit like ass today. Did I usher this in by going ahead and making chicken noodle soup last night? No, I didn't. In fact, that was fortuitous because when T got home, looking rather like the wrath himself, he complained of a sore throat and basically jumped into the pot of soup with glee. I ate with one hand propping up my head, he supped (souped; hah!) in front of the TV, laughing wanly though sincerely at John Oliver's Last Week Tonight which is a really clever show.

The couch

That's where I have been for most of the past seven hours. I am still there, as it turns out. A soup lunch seemed very necessary a few hours back, yet reheating chicken soup seemed too onerous. So, I dusted off my blender and made some cold saffron-tomato soup. No cooking, no real chopping, just into the blender and vroom. Often, this lovely soup is pink, but today, because I used a Mr. Stripey tomato (which is primarily yellow) and the saffron, the mixture turned out to be a stunning shade of coral. Not unlike cooked shrimp, really. Some chopped avocado here, a drizzle of oil there. Solid.

www.em-i-lis.com

One can do many things while on a couch if a computer is close at hand.

Glum over having had to cancel lunch with a friend (because she is one of my favorite people AND we were going to get Ethiopian food; grr; a double loss), I put my energies into a project I pretty much never want to do unless I'm sick or desperate for a holiday gift for hard-to-give-to family members: making a photo book. Jesus h, the captions alone could drive the sanest of us into a vortex of madness, but I persevered -for THREE straight hours because what do I have but time in prostrate form- and successfully completed this scrapbook of sorts. I know I will be exceedingly glad to have it.

Because my camera was also near, I snapped some pics of Nutmeg because I am that person. Isn't he handsome? Outrageously so? If he were human, he'd wear tuxedos all day long just because he'd feel it was the right way to live life. Of this I am certain.

www.em-i-lis.com