Children cussing, gumbo making

I'm still cringe-laughing because, as is true for much of parenthood, you just can't make this shit up. You see, in Spanish club last term, Oliver developed a big, mutual crush on a 4th grader, P, who was assisting the teacher. I know the girl's mother pretty well so offered up that if ever her daughter wanted to play or get babysitting experience, I'd be happy to have her over as a "mother's helper."  Ol kept asking, the dear girl felt equally enthused, and so yesterday P came over for two hours after the boys returned home from camp.

Though Jack ultimately left Ol and P to themselves, initially the three played several rounds of Spanish bingo. Approximately 22 minutes after P arrived, I was making roux in the kitchen and thinking to myself, "this is just a lovely situation!" when I heard Jack yell down, "Mom, Oliver just said the "f-word."

"WTF?!" I said to myself.

"Excuse me, what f-word?" hoping beyond hope that the answer was 'fart.'

Jack: "The bad one."

Oliver: "Fuck! Isn't that a Spanish word?"

People, I'm wracking my brain and can think of no Spanish word that sounds like 'fuck.' I suspect Oliver is quick on his feet in the BS department rather than honestly thinking fuck is a Spanish vocab word he learned, and I'll give him that, but good god. 22 minutes in?

In as calm a voice as I could muster through mortification and under-my-breath laughing, I reminded Oliver that what he said was really quite a bad word and that he would not be repeating it. I then texted a friend because this story had to be shared immediately. She was in the pit of hell with her tykes and seemed to appreciate comic relief.

"OK, Mom."

Naturally, I let P's mother know, as soon as she arrived, that should P mention that my five year old said 'fuck' during Spanish bingo, I really didn't know where this came from and had handled it. She laughed, I laughed, say it with me: "You can't make this shit up."

Fortunately, this cussing did not interfere deleteriously with my roux-making, a good thing since making roux on a hot day is fairly arduous and you'd always prefer to not make a second batch unless you have or want to. By the time we ate, it was actually really nice out, so T and I moved to the deck with steaming bowls of gumbo. Gumbo is one of my favorite dishes of all time. I love it so much. It is highbrow, lowbrow, home, comfort and spice all in a bowl.

I spent two hours with my dear friend, G, this morning and am now making Strawberry Pinot Noir jam. Back to it!

Food stylist dynamo, Oreos

Are you familiar with Denise Vivaldo, a renowned food stylist in LA who also writes for the Huff Post and is an absolute dynamo? I hadn't heard of her until Friday afternoon when she lit up a panel at the MidAtlantic Food Writers Symposium. Later that night, in reviewing the next day's schedule, I was thrilled to see that she would be co-leading the Perfect Plates seminar, a three-and-a-half hour food styling and photography session.

People, Denise is one of the most charismatic, hilarious forces of nature I've ever met. I about fell out after every sentence. I would give an arm to have recorded her presentation, simply to belly-ache laugh again and again. There was something about the importance of lighting in relation to "just thinking about Barbra Streisand," some priceless commentary about Sandra Lee and a Kwanzaa cake, another bit about something being as elusive as seeing a panther in the wild during the day. I loved Denise's candor, her confidence, her strength and her seemingly complete awareness about her strengths -and playing on them- and her weaknesses. I really admire the sense of her I got. What a tough and cool cookie.

She offered a wealth of great advice and Adam Ewing, the photographer who co-taught the session, was a real talent as well. Made me want to go buy a couple new lenses, a buffet of fabulous props and get busy!

`````````` On another note, as Jack doesn't like most cake or any frosting, he asked for a huge Oreo for his birthday. I ordered the Nordic Ware creme filled wafer cake pans, but we worried that they wouldn't make thin or crunchy enough wafers. I'll return those and in the meantime started testing recipes. Today's maiden voyage was my take on a recipe I found on Momables. These were really tasty though Oreos they were not. Ol, T and I totally enjoyed them, but J said "No," probably because the filling wasn't firm or fake enough. Heh. So, I'll keep chugging along, but for now, eye candy for you!

The luxury of time

When the first of two alarms gently nudged me awake this morning, I took a moment to orient. Do you have any idea how long it's been since I've set an alarm clock? Hell, I don't even have one on my night table at home because I have two in the bedrooms next to mine; they are named Jack and Oliver. So to be awakened by a briiing into which I opted and to then have a leisurely amount of time to style my hair and get dressed thoughtfully to then have time to go out for breakfast and coffee before heading into the Library of Virginia to use my entire, or least what felt entire, brain for uninterrupted learning has felt like a dip in the lap of luxury. Let me simply say that I am happy to be here.

The day consisted of panel discussions about what editors want to see, how the best-written recipes are structured, ways in which we can all better manage social media and a tiny master class I registered for before it filled. I feel tired in a much different way that I usually do this time of day. Yes, the boys did just call me to mediate a situation from afar, but that was brief and distant. I'm tired in the way one is after focusing and contemplating and learning and networking, and that feels really good. And, I'm still a little bit high about the master class instructor, Todd Kliman (dining editor of The Washingtonian), saying about a couple sentences from my piece, "Damn that's good. Beautiful."

I think many stay-at-home parents desire and benefit from experiences like these, times where we take time and space for ourselves. When I hugged the boys goodbye yesterday afternoon, we all felt sad, and they asked why I was leaving. I said, "Sweeties, everyone deserves the opportunity to follow through on their passions, to take some time for themselves, learn something new, meet new people. I will miss you but I'm really excited about this chance, and it will be good for me."

As important as maintaining a sense of self distinct from Mom is modeling that for my children. I want them to see a woman who is a great mother, one who is loving and engaged and there for them every step of the way but who also prioritizes and takes care of herself. I want them to see that their father is fully on board with that, happy to support me and to make my short absence work. I want the boys to expect that their spouses will want to and should be supported in doing the same (if they so choose) and to know that pursuing education and personal fulfillment can be lifelong ventures that enrich them every step of the way.