Kiss my polite, southern tush, you meanies

I cannot fathom what is going on this morning so I'll blame it on the cold (but it's sunny! at least there's that!): too many people are in very mean moods. After dropping the boys at school, I ran by the market. At the customer service desk, I placed my milk bottle on the counter and while waiting quietly and smilingly for my deposit refund noticed a large, slightly manic/angry-looking woman rounding the corner and walking towards me. We were at least three feet apart when she sighed dramatically, gripped onto one thigh in apparent pain and proceeded to yell that she'd been "vulgarized throughout this store this morning. First there were two over there and now HER." (looking and basically spitting at me) "I have searing pain in this leg and this one" because of some such nonsense which had to do with something I'd done to her. WHILE STANDING STILL IN ONE PLACE. The customer service woman gave me a look like "don't worry; that lady is batshit," so I decided to do my best to ignore the evil eye I was still receiving and head off to fetch some bananas.

Just now, I walked Percy to the bank where we found the ATM unable to dispense cash. Helpful. So, we go inside and patiently wait in line. The first rep to help me ultimately couldn't because I didn't have my license so I got back in line -with a smile!- to wait for the gal who could. The man behind me went ahead and proceeded to ream out the rep because of the broken ATM. I believe simply informing her of its malfunction, as did I, would have been enough.

The second rep called me over and we made lovely small talk while she got my cash. She offered me a new credit card and because I have no intention of opting in instead asked for some information to "bring home and discuss with my husband." Naturally no such information existed and so she asked me to wait while she photocopied a page from her manual. Ok. Whatever, she's lovely, I'm not in a rush. While she's at the machine, a manager comes over and makes more small talk, this time about pets. "I have a cat, oh you do too? What's his name? I LOVE that." The first gal hands me my photocopy and then another person in line starts yelling about me listening to the rep "who's trying to just sell you something. I have a check to cash!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

People, it's enough to make me want to swear off society for the rest of today. How can one possibly be "vulgarized" in a grocery store? And, what if I'd really wanted that damn credit card? It is my right to get the effing information about it. Shit, people, kiss it. And stop yelling at me because you're in a bad mood.

Don't even get me started on the insane meanie at the public library the other day. Mean to me and the kids. At a public library. When they were being perfectly behaved.

It's a good thing I saved my leftover grits for today.

I told you the man could wear a suit!

Benedict Cumberbatch, Suit God.

Snow-sun-crab death?-gyoza-granola-whew

We had such a fun time last night. What a treat to get dressed up and out and have a ball. And St. Jude's is such a great cause; during the opening video I was damn glad to have on waterproof eye makeup! My dress is the one I wore to my and T's rehearsal dinner nearly ten years back. I found it in Ol's closet yesterday while looking for an overcoat, tried it on and voila. I love closet shopping trips that yield terrific finds.

This morning we awoke to more snow, heavy snow and lots of it. I thanked school, with every fiber of my being, for just going with it and getting started on time. Winter, I'm over you. Naturally by 1p, the sun was shining and all the slush was melting away. Who can keep current as these days go by? No wonder a number of people I know are sick. Effing February.

Do y'all remember that morning last July, when I went to kiss J goodbye before I hurried out to catch my plane to BlogHer (click here for an enjoyable review)? I noticed an odd Darth-Vader-minus-his-helmet looking creature in the food bowl in the hermit crab tank (mmm, savory), told T he'd best check it out and then left. Turns out one crab had cannibalized the other and what I'd seen was just a head, a naked head amidst the food pellets. Anyway, since that aggressive behavior, Mr. Crab has not been given a new roommate. Too bad if he's been lonely...eating your tankmate is unacceptable.

I have grown increasingly ambivalent about the damn crab, not least because he is boring as sin. Lately though, he's been downright sociable, all creaky-crawly throughout his tank, hanging in his salt water pool, munching on old worm casings, changing locale on a regular basis. He has NEVER, in the past 18 months or so, changed shells despite the fact that empty ones are strewn about his tank AND he's been hanging out of his first home in a seriously egregious fashion. He's like a size 9 foot pretending to fit into a size 6 open-toed sandal: all overhang and silliness.

Then last night, T noticed that Crab had abandoned his shell altogether and was lurking in his cave completely in the buff. Is he finally going to move into a larger home? Is he dying? He's weird. Do hermit crabs hibernate?

I think he's dead. I can't bring myself to lift up the cave thing but he doesn't look so good, and really, I'm relieved. Let's call it a day on the dullest pet ever and then I'll have one less thing to tend.

In the meantime I made granola (it never gets less good, people) and also the filling for some gyoza which I'm about to wrap and steam. I love dumplings/pot stickers/shu mai/this delight with any moniker. I hope the boys like them too!