I was sitting on a kitchen stool just now, and Nutmeg sneaked up behind me and bit my butt. Then he jumped onto our table and swept an entire deck of cards off onto the floor. I think he's pissed about the snow we received this morning, and frankly, I am too. Thank god my mother arrived last night and can save the boys and me from ourselves. She's been wearing shorts for the past six weeks -#Louisiana- and thought the snow was pretty. Hmph.

We all went out to lunch and then puttered around in Crate & Barrel. I didn't buy this bad boy, but it's fetching, and I appreciate its size. Where, however, would one would tuck this? Whilst at the table of "gift items," this flask being one, we saw Corkers.

Do you know this worthless product? For the bargain price of $7 (now $5 on sale) each, you can turn your old corks into all manner of animal and robot. I love that the box reminds you, "Cork not included." Why in god's name would I throw money in the toilet to turn my old cork into a rabbit? Do I need a Corker army to help remind me of something? Thank you but no. I will recycle my corks and keep on drinking.

At that point, Mom and I were in hysterics, and the kids, apparently forgetting we were in a store SELLING these things, started saying, loudly, "What other worthless, stupid products are on this table??" and cackling like asylum inmates. I quickly hissed, "Boys, SSSHHHHSSHHHH!" and looked around furtively. We left.

Tonight I'm making halibut with mango salsa, roasted asparagus with aioli and a strawberry-rhubarb pie. As soon as I get off this couch. Which is not appealing at all. Not least because Mom and the boys are watching a movie in the basement while I have some time off. Have I mentioned how thrilled I am that she's here?