Percy (dog) just dug up and ate another dog’s poop; Oliver insisted on running with Jack’s lunch box and now has an enormous brushburn; I now have blood on my white shirt; he’s also screaming that everything is his; Jack will not stop talking and is trying to smooth rocks but rubbing them vigorously against each other on my dining room table; at least he got a placemat to work on. 

Note: the wine is going into the fridge now.

PS- The store also put my heirloom tomato (read: $$) on the bottom of my bag. Guess what is split now?! Shnikeys!