I talk somewhat regularly about the many challenges of parenting: it's mind-blowingly constant, can be mind-numbingly dull, is exhausting, asks you to shed or force into dormancy much of your pre-parent self. But the one thing I'm not sure I've written much about is that no matter how certain you are that you've finally established a routine, finally gotten everyone well, finally figured out how to best deal with whatever issue has been at hand, that is never really true. It can be easy (or just too damn appealing) to forget that children grow and change at a rapid, dynamic pace. Sometimes that's exciting, at other times it makes you want to put a fork in your eye. It's like an existential version of "are you kidding that you outgrew these pants/shoes/whatever? we just bought them."
Last night, I was up late getting things done: laundry folded, recipes posted, recipes sorted, dishes washed, emails returned, articles read. I felt comfortable doing so because I "knew" I could count on being able to sleep until at least 5:48a which is Oliver's most regular wake-up time (horrible but, shockingly, a great improvement). Bam. Just before 5am, I am jolted from my slumber by ear-splitting calls of MOM-MAY, MOM-MAY. He was sopping wet, his bed was sopping wet, he wanted milk, he wanted to play, he wanted pancakes but then not. I forced him to come to bed with me where we fitfully coexisted until 6:15. Why is it fun to crawl on top of Mommy's face? And lest you think T is a lazy sack, no, he's out of town.
Anyway, my point is that I was counting on something so small as a certain number of hours of sleep. I didn't quite get there, I feel pretty rough but the same day will unfold and you make do.
Making do is hard after a while. It's tough to always just "go with it" even if you're a masterful Buddhist monk. O is on the crabby side of crab, and that's putting it kindly, J is being a complete doll and I feel badly that I don't have the energy to engage in a full-on game of Twister right now. But we all have limits, and sometimes when what you expected did not come to pass, the bar might lower on what those limits are. And I think that's ok.