Totally shallow US Weekly observations

Friends: -who are Kim Zolciak and Kroy Biermann, and why did her wedding dress weigh 32 pounds? In the picture, it looks like a vat of meringue erupted on to her as she began to walk down the aisle. Seriously, all I see is frilly, white poofiness, an enormous veil and some boobs.

-why did Kendall Jenner, apparently one of the Kardashian clan, get a $90K car for her 16th birthday? This family is so tacky. That obscene wedding? People, give this money to charity, not to 16 year olds and 72 day nuptials.

-does anyone else feel that Brooke Burke looks like a terrifying wax museum model? And why did she name her kids Neriah, Shaya, Rain and the like?

-why is Alexa Chung famous, and why does she always have deer-in-the-headlights eyes? Can she, too, not believe what she's wearing?

-how long does it take Nicki Minaj to get dressed? who is Nicki Minaj?

-why are Selena Gomez and Justin Bieber staying in ritzy Paris hotels? People, I don't care how famous I was, my parents would definitely NOT have let me jaunt to Paris and stay with my bf at that age. For the love, T and I could not share a room at my parents' house until after we were married.

Based on the probably apparent disdain in the above commentary, why do I read US Weekly? Hmm...Food for thought.