1. Go Chen Guangcheng! 2. Why do I or one/both of the kids get sick every -literally- time Tom goes out of town? I step over slugs for the love of god; come on karma.

3. I am definitely the most impatient sick person I know. Perhaps this is because there's no reprieve from life when I am so it really effs with things. I mean, it's extremely likely that one or both of the kids will wake me up at the crack tomorrow and not care a hill of beans that I could hurl at any second and really just want to lay flat in a dark room.

4. Why did Lindsay Lohan get invited to the White House correspondents dinner? Was it a joke? I don't get it.

5. Why I am incapable of throwing out unread publications regardless of age? In this way, I AM my mother.