This morning is one of those that feels endless and terrifying. Like the road in Kenya I was once on; I thought surely that's where I'd die. It all started off so sweetly what with Oliver coming in for our morning snuggle, J sleeping in a bit, the cat sharing bed space generously before retiring to the bath tub. Then breakfast-time happened, and now, an hour later, I'm sitting here in stunned silence, stomach aching, very much wishing I didn't have all to do today that I do including chaperoning second graders at a farm-based service trip. I actively disliked the children for nearly an hour. They were whiny and annoying and loud. Their ears appeared broken. Brushing teeth was a monstrous parental mandate that couldn't be handled. Socks provided irritating bumps that literally couldn't be dealt with; new ones had to be found. Oliver went to school looking like Rainbow Brite meets Santa Claus in need of a haircut while Jack insisted on wearing his snow gloves despite the fact that it is only 44 outside. It's possible people will wonder, based on their appearances alone, if something really whacked went on over here this morning.
I try very hard to respect the fact that relatively speaking the boys are still mere babes. They often seem more capable than they are, and I feel it is unfair to children to expect them not to act like children. That robs them of a special time.
That said, g-damnit, brushing teeth is not negotiable. Ever. And so I completely and, I think rightfully, expect that by now we will no longer be having full-scale meltdowns and resultant Come to Jesus' about this basic act. I resorted to extreme threats this morning when I told Ol that if he didn't brush his teeth they would all rot and fall out and his breath would smell and no one would ever talk to him again.
Probably because yesterday morning, during our traditional snuggle, Ol suddenly said, "YEW!!!" (his way of saying yuk/ew/gross). I asked what was wrong, and he said, "I came close to your face to tell you somefing secwet but somefing smells SO bad." Long story short, I had morning breath. So sue me.