Kiss my polite, southern tush, you meanies

I cannot fathom what is going on this morning so I'll blame it on the cold (but it's sunny! at least there's that!): too many people are in very mean moods. After dropping the boys at school, I ran by the market. At the customer service desk, I placed my milk bottle on the counter and while waiting quietly and smilingly for my deposit refund noticed a large, slightly manic/angry-looking woman rounding the corner and walking towards me. We were at least three feet apart when she sighed dramatically, gripped onto one thigh in apparent pain and proceeded to yell that she'd been "vulgarized throughout this store this morning. First there were two over there and now HER." (looking and basically spitting at me) "I have searing pain in this leg and this one" because of some such nonsense which had to do with something I'd done to her. WHILE STANDING STILL IN ONE PLACE. The customer service woman gave me a look like "don't worry; that lady is batshit," so I decided to do my best to ignore the evil eye I was still receiving and head off to fetch some bananas.

Just now, I walked Percy to the bank where we found the ATM unable to dispense cash. Helpful. So, we go inside and patiently wait in line. The first rep to help me ultimately couldn't because I didn't have my license so I got back in line -with a smile!- to wait for the gal who could. The man behind me went ahead and proceeded to ream out the rep because of the broken ATM. I believe simply informing her of its malfunction, as did I, would have been enough.

The second rep called me over and we made lovely small talk while she got my cash. She offered me a new credit card and because I have no intention of opting in instead asked for some information to "bring home and discuss with my husband." Naturally no such information existed and so she asked me to wait while she photocopied a page from her manual. Ok. Whatever, she's lovely, I'm not in a rush. While she's at the machine, a manager comes over and makes more small talk, this time about pets. "I have a cat, oh you do too? What's his name? I LOVE that." The first gal hands me my photocopy and then another person in line starts yelling about me listening to the rep "who's trying to just sell you something. I have a check to cash!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

People, it's enough to make me want to swear off society for the rest of today. How can one possibly be "vulgarized" in a grocery store? And, what if I'd really wanted that damn credit card? It is my right to get the effing information about it. Shit, people, kiss it. And stop yelling at me because you're in a bad mood.

Don't even get me started on the insane meanie at the public library the other day. Mean to me and the kids. At a public library. When they were being perfectly behaved.

It's a good thing I saved my leftover grits for today.